When I was from 18 to around 23, I feel like I wasn't such a great person. I ghosted/blocked random friends for no good reason after college. I was hypocritical (pretended to be good when I wasn't). I wasn't so respectful to women, I was pushy, and I pretty much was just looking to have sex with whoever I could. I saw most girls in purely sexual terms. I didn't commit any violent abuse (where the girl said no explicitly), but with all the #MeToo talk nowadays, I feel like I was a horny, aggressive, selfish idiot who crossed boundaries and ignored nonverbal signals.
I know I hurt some girls, but maybe I hurt them more than I realized. I've done a lot of introspection over the years. I realized I was selfish. I was never a frat boy type (I never partied much honestly), but I feel like was I was nice on the exterior, shitty on the inside. I've tried to be a better person and be more respectful to others. I've educated myself about feminism. I've realized I wasn't being a great person earlier, and I'm still working on changing myself.
But I still feel the cloud over my head, gnawing guiltiness, like my past defines me forever. Is this a rational feeling? Am I right in feeling like a bad person forever?
TLDR; I was a douchebag when I was a younger, and feeling guilt now.
Submitted September 26, 2018 at 04:55PM by FlamboyantCrayon https://ift.tt/2NNx9kb
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