So me and my boyfriend were going out for around 10 months and things were going great. We loved each other, we had an amazing relationship and we were genuinely best friends. We both admitted that we had never experienced this kind of deep love before and our past relationships didn't compare to this one.
But there was a small issue that grew into a big one that ultimately ended our relationship. He has a massive friendship group- like 30+ people he's known from school, plus he has different friendship groups all over the country that he's always in touch with. He was always going out, seeing different people and had a very active social life. I don't have a big group of friends, I have a few friends that I see every now and then that are quality friends that I see on a one to one basis. I didn't mind this at first, but then I started seeing him less and less and the problem became more serious.
One of the main reasons why we broke up was because he always prioritised seeing his friends over me. Bear in mind, I always encouraged him to see his friends as friendships are important. But he would regularly say "If I don't see xxxx on Friday night, then I'll see you" or "I haven't heard back from xxx so now I can see you on Saturday" which made me feel like his other plans always came first and I was a backup just to pass the time.
His main friendship group is really into things that I kinda grew out of years ago- like getting drunk in clubs but he is completely content doing this every weekend. He is so mature in some ways but I find some of the things he and his friends do boring and pointless for me personally. And again- if he split his time fairly I wouldn't mind because we don't have to do everything together but I only saw him once a week and the rest of his free time was always dedicated to his friends.
I always felt like I was pretty far down on the list. For example, we went on holiday this summer which was great. But we were only able to go because the two separate groups of friends he was planning to go away with didn't organise it in time so we went instead. Another example is I wanted to plan something for his birthday but he focused so much on plans with his friends that he could only fit me in weeks after his actual birthday weekend.
I have been out with him and his friends a few times, I don't particularly like being in big groups but I wasn't awkward or unsociable. I spoke with loads of his friends and they were all pretty nice. Afterwards he said he noticed I was uncomfortable around his friends. I was a bit uncomfortable because whenever I met a new group of friends, he would introduce me then leave me alone for the rest of the time with people I've never met before. These were people who have known each other since they were 11 years old and were completely comfortable with each other and he would just desert me straight away. Then he stopped inviting me out completely. So we basically lived completely separate lives, apart from when I get to see him once or maybe twice a week when he made the time.
I brought this issue up with him in a very emotional conversation, and I told him he probably needs to be single if he can't divide his time more equally. I feel like this could possibly be worked out but in my heart, I know he always wants to be with his friends, getting drunk in the clubs every weekend and that's not the lifestyle I live.
Also- whenever there's a party or drinks with my friends I would always invite him. But towards the end it felt like he didn't even think to invite me to his stuff at all.
Am I overreacting to this? Is this down to an extrovert/introvert mismatch? Can I be with someone who has completely different interests to me?
(There were other issues as to why we broke up, but I can't include them all in this post!)
Any help or points of view would be appreciated as I don't know if the breakup was a mistake or not!
TLDR- Ex-boyfriend doesn't invite me out with him & his friends and is mainly interested in getting drunk in clubs. Feeling under appreciated and no longer a priority. Is this an overreaction?
Submitted September 29, 2018 at 09:16AM by Taur51391 https://ift.tt/2Qjqr2e
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