In February this year my sister passed away from cancer. She was only 26, she was my best friend and it was two weeks before her wedding day. Staff arranged a civil ceremony in her hospital room the day she died so that she could be married to the man she loved, he was just 23 at the time.
Originally my brother-in-law planned to stay in the house he and my sister had shared but soon found it too lonely and upsetting. He decided to travel the world to fulfil some of the plans he and my sister had had together and asked if he could stay with me (33F) and my husband (33M) for "a while". I was 5 months pregnant with our first child and missing my sister so I was happy to have him stay for the extra support we provided each other during a tough time.
At the beginning my BIL talked about travelling at the end of May but I had our daughter and he still hadn't booked any flights or decided on a starting destination. My husband started to get stressed with my BIL's presence, he wanted it to just be us and our newborn and wanted a date set for BIL travels to begin. I hinted at booking flights and looking into vaccinations and finally flights were booked at the end of August.
Now, less than a month later my BIL has messaged to say he's coming back end of November and not going travelling again until "maybe March". He also specifically mentioned Christmas and asked could he spend it with us. Husband only knows about Christmas so far but has told me that BIL cannot spend Christmas with us as husband's parents are coming to stay from across the country and he doesn't want other guests (spare room is not a factor). Husband says if BIL is going to be here for Christmas we will be going to stay at his parents instead. I don't want to do that for several reasons but I don't know how to approach any of this with my BIL!
I want my BIL to feel welcome at our home and part of our family but also understand that he needs to find a place of his own. I love having him here but my husband's mental health definitely deteriorated during his stay (previous problems with depression flared again) so I want to back him on this. How do I sort this out?!
TLDR - husband is sick of widowed brother-in-law staying with us and specifically doesn't want him here at Christmas
Submitted September 28, 2018 at 01:45AM by Little_kamal https://ift.tt/2Og7nEM
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