My (24F) friend (24F) cancelled my plans to move in with her the day before I was meant to move and I don't know what this means for our friendship going forward.

Hey reddit, I have a shitty situation that's unfolded this morning. Sorry if this turns out a bit long.

I had plans to move in with a friend this weekend (she's already renting a place with a spare bedroom and I was being added to the lease). Basically, she called me this morning and told me she had something serious to talk to me about. She said she's been increasingly anxious about me moving in over the last couple of weeks and only sorted out her feelings yesterday when she talked about it with another friend.

In short, she said she's not ready to live with someone and that she needs to maintain her safe space and look after her mental health. She said we can talk about it again in future once she's in a more stable place. She's struggled with depression over the last couple of months and we've been talking a lot more as we've supported each other through that (I have bipolar disorder that I've steadily been trying to manage since my diagnosis) so I knew she'd been having a hard time.

The thing is I absolutely understand having crappy mental health and needing space and being anxious about things. I asked her why she didn't tell me sooner and she said she didn't know how she felt until she talked to her friend about it and it just isn’t a good enough excuse. She literally could have just said that she was confused and didn't how she felt and I would have made other plans or put it off. She let me message her all week talking about plans and saying how excited I was and gave no indication she was having second thoughts now I just feel like a complete idiot and like my life’s been turned upside down. Her mental health isn’t the only one that matters. Other people have feelings to consider and leaving it until the literal day before I’m meant to move in just feels like a complete disregard for that and makes me feel like she doesn't actually care about me at all.

I barely remember what I said during the phone call because I was in shock. She said she understands if I need time and that she understands I'm angry at her and she sounded apologetic but it just isn't good enough.

I'm just so confused. The entire process of me moving in was suggested by her when I mentioned another friend had asked me to look for a place with her and some other friends (who have now rented somewhere else with no spare bedroom so moving with them is no longer an option). I was really excited by it and agreed because we get along well and have similar living habits and it seemed like a really good option. Now that's down the drain.

When we were initially discussing move in dates I asked her over and over if this weekend was too soon, if she needed more time, and I was totally okay with that but she reassured me over and over that she was fine with it and it would be an exciting change. So I've now spent money on a trailer to move that's non-refundable, my entire life is completely packed away and I was excited and ready to go and now it just feels like my life has been put on hold.

I've been living with my parents for the past few months saving money (I live in Sydney and rent is expensive) so I can still stay with them while I look for another place thankfully but they're out in the suburbs an hour from the centre of the city. It's been really hard being isolated and I was excited to be close to the city and my friends again.

I just don't know what else I could have done to have avoided this. I feel like my trust in her is completely broken and I'm really upset and angry and feel rejected.

We've been friends for going on 10 years I just never thought someone I consider a best friend would do this to me. I'm absolutely not going to consider moving in with her in future if she magically decides she's ready, I'm so angry I feel like I never want to speak to her again at this point.

I know it's still fresh and I need time to process and I might feel differently with some time and space but I'm devastated. Do you think an action like this is something a friendship can come back from? Am I being too harsh in wanting to cut contact?

**TL;DR;** My friend told me she's not ready for me to move in the day before I was meant to move in with her. I want to cut contact and am wondering if I'm being too dramatic. Some advice would be appreciated.

Submitted September 28, 2018 at 06:04PM by weareunpersons https://ift.tt/2P4BWu0