About a year and a half ago, my wife (Tessa) became friends with higher up at her work (Chris, 45M). He seemed to lean on her emotionally and talked about his failing marriage of 20 years with 45F and would ask her for advice. I was weirded out at how close they got so quickly but she insisted he just wanted advice to make his marriage better. My wife is beautiful, smart, and successful. It's easy for me to assume many men want her, but this just seemed off.
I started to notice that Chris's actions affected Tessa quite a lot. She admitted that he could be cruel and manipulative and she would get REALLY upset when this happened. I also started to sense that Chris was probably interested in Tessa as more than a confidant.
A few months ago, I found texts from Tessa to Chris telling him she loves him, like romantically. I confronted her and she claimed she was drunk (true), didn't mean it, and was just feeling thankful to him for helping her with something career-wise. She apologized to me and also to him and told him she didn't mean it. She offered to cut contact with him. I told her I didn't care if they talked if it was career-related.
Well, recently, everything seemed to have exploded. Tessa was asleep and her friend [32F] gave me her phone and told me to look. I saw texts between Tessa and another friend [45F] where Tessa said "I wish I could just tell my husband so he could choose to leave me if he wants." They were talking about Chris.
I asked her wtf that meant. At first she wouldn't answer. Then she came to me and told me that Chris had kissed her last year. She says nothing else happened. I have no idea if that's true. She offered to cut contact again and also offered therapy and has been a model wife lately--loving and affectionate, doing more domestic chores than usual. She has left her phone and computer open to me. I really do think she is trying.
But here's the thing. Apparently someone informed Chris's wife that there was something going on between Tessa and Chris. His wife informed HR and he may or may not be let go. Apparently his marriage really was on life support and his wife decided that him putting their family at risk (by risking his job for whatever he had with my wife) was the last straw, so she is divorcing him.
So this is where I'm conflicted. My wife is partly responsible for breaking up another marriage and also for a man potentially losing his job. It's hard for me to believe this is over a kiss.
But I'm not sure whether I need to know or not. We have a good relationship. We are best friends, have great sex, parent well together, and make a great team. I know I can't be with her if she's in love with this guy, but she hasn't spoken to him since all this went down. (I've checked.) I'm also concerned about her low-key drinking issue. She's in a profession where alcoholism is common and I see her drinking to deal with issues. I'm just not sure what to do. I love her but I feel like it's a LOT to deal with and between the texts and this guy's marriage ending BECAUSE of my wife, I don't know if I have it in me to stay.
tl;dr: wife "kissed" someone else, his wife found out and is leaving him. She's been genuinely remorseful but I'm not sure what to do.
Submitted September 29, 2018 at 08:01AM by Usele55987 https://ift.tt/2NNrXwO
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