Tl;dr: Where does the motivation to find someone comes from?
I(27M) understand that sexual drive is crazily powerful force and I do have it. But, I really don't feel the same urge to find someone. I see people around me getting in relationships, engaged, married and the rest getting nuts, jealous, sad seeing other people getting in relationships. And all I can feel why is it even important. I can only see it as a next possible step or event of human life, like going to school, college, getting a job etc etc. I was always envious of people when they got a good grade, got a good job, did something important. And sometimes that really helped to stay motivated. Now, I like to think I have a great job in tech that I really enjoy and pays me way more than I can spend. But, when it comes to relationships, I don't really feel that envy or jealousy or motivation.
Honestly, I don't believe I am very desirable and it never made sense why would anyone want to be with me. I am not handsome and not even the kindest person would call me attractive. But, physically fit, athletic. Personality wise, people have said I am reserved, shy and cautious in social interactions who doesn't disclose anything (probably there's nothing to disclose). Some people have said I am very analytical and calculative at everything.
I wonder if I am hiding my insecurities behind a veil of disinterest about relationships. Or, if there's something fundamentally 'wrong' with me like some kind of past trauma (can't think of anything) or mental feature.
I have tried tinder, bumble. Even if I get a match, I don't feel like messaging, if she messages (happens rarely), I don't feel like replying. Stopped using those apps though. Don't want to waste someone else's time.
Submitted March 20, 2021 at 04:35AM by UsedTough8151 https://ift.tt/38ZLwux
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