TL:DR - I got made redundant, money is tight and wife wants to spend. Issue is causing unpleasantness as she thinks I should spend on her despite the low bank balance
Hi everyone. This is my first post on this Reddit. I'm a 40 m living with my 35f wife and our two kids. We are currently based in her home country in former Soviet Union after we moved here from my job last year. Unfortunately, I was made redundant in September and I haven't had regular employment since - just some short-term consulting and online jobs. Financially, we have almost depleted our savings and my pay off. Things are not looking great for the next month or two - but I will have some temporary work towards the end of May. my wife has not found any work despite the situation, and this irritates me. I have also suffered from depression and stress badly during this time, but I have always gritted my teeth and pushed to try and find solutions - but I don't think she is trying at all. I am exhausted and I wish with all my heart that she would relieve some of this burden. End of backstory
The issue is that my wife has rather irrational views about money - due to the financial situation, I have stopped buying gifts and luxuries - that said I have kept paying for her studies. I don't think we should be spending money carelessly until we have a proper regular income. In her eyes, she says that this is me neglecting my role as a husband. She claims that I do not pay enough attention to her as a woman. I have tried to explain that I need help with ensuring we have a healthier Financial position, and that I am also not in the best physical and psychological condition. I need her to be on my side, and not against me. These unrealistic demands are taking a toll on me, so much so that I am becoming very unattracted to her now - it's difficult to want someone who has no interest in ensuring you are in a good way.
Today pushed me too far. I explained that until I receive my consulting fee, we are unable to do more than the bare minimum. Her view, which I find illogical , was that men who give their women more in terms of attention and money find that it is returned in a bigger way. Basically, if I give her what she wants and I will get richer as a reward from the universe.... This was coupled with a demand for her to travel to a mountain resort for her to rest. To me this is insanity - we are at the point where we can just about put food on the table and a roof over our heads, but no luxuries. Paying for holiday for her only, strikes me as selfish and unfair behaviour. In her eyes, it's my duty to provide this - and if I don't, I should just leave her to be happy and she will find someone who will. I don't think this is a real threat, but it is painful and childish.The one thing stopping me throwing everything, is access to my kids - if we didn't have such amazing kids, I'd be gone.
So, I ask you am I being overly harsh in my interpretation of a situation - or is my spouse acting like a spoiled child? Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive, or maybe this is completely screwed up. Would be good to have some feedback. Thank you.
.
Submitted March 27, 2021 at 06:51AM by bojack_zebraman https://ift.tt/2Pa1hIk
No comments:
Post a Comment