I think I end relationships too quickly... at the first red flag I run away and block immediately. Am I overreacting?

I (38f) used to be in an extremely physically and verbally abusive marriage for 6 years. He nearly killed me a few times and controlled everything I did. I couldn't even leave the house and wasn't allowed any money or contacting family or friends. I also grew up in a home with abusive family members. I won't get into that, but now I am very sensitive to anything I consider to be a threat to my safety.

At any sign of (what I consider to be) controlling behavior, I cut it off immediately. I don't give them a chance to explain or apologize. I haven't even been intimate with anyone since my husband, because my dating never even gets that far. I'll spend a few weeks getting to know a guy and the first time he gets jealous or tells me what to do, I'll run.

Like the last guy I was getting to know seemed pretty mature, but recently he made a comment about how my shirt was revealing and I should wear something more appropriate for the weather, and it turned me off completely. It was a long-sleeve turtleneck, it was just tight. But his comment made me flash back to my ex husband who used to shred my clothes with shears if I wore anything other than an abaya (long black cloak from his country, covered everything except my face and hands) and would call me a slut and hit me for wearing maxi dresses or eyeliner.

I told him how I dress isn't his concern and I dislike being told what to wear. He said I was overreacting, so I explained to him where I'm coming from (being told what to wear down to my socks) and I really do not like my clothing choices being criticized. I'm an adult and I choose what I wear, nobody else has a say in it. Well, he said since he's dating me, he has a right to have an opinion on my clothes because other guys will think I'm available if I dress up. So I told him it wasn't gonna work out and I left. I blocked his number when I got home.

The guy before him tried to pressure me into doing his work for him and after repeatedly telling him "no" and an argument, I left him too. I've tried to get to know 4 guys since my divorce and they all ended this way over similar differences of opinion.

I'm not sure if I am overreacting or handling this wrong? I just don't like being told what to do, used as a maidservant or having my opinion ignored. I'm a grown adult and I never want to be parented by anyone again. But I also think I might be way too sensitive because of my past experiences and I'm giving up too fast. I don't know.

Do you think I'm reacting normally to these situations or am I being too sensitive? Are the red flags I'm seeing real or imagined? Do you have any advice for me?

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TL;DR: I escaped an abusive relationship and now whenever I see a red flag (real or imagined), I run out of the relationship and immediately block him with no second chances. I want to know if I'm being too sensitive and judgmental or not.

Submitted March 31, 2021 at 08:44PM by Visual-Ad-8525 https://ift.tt/3sKf1bA