It's pretty much what the title says. My(f16) sister hasn't been herself for a few weeks, and I don't really know what to do to help her, if I even can. I first thought that maybe she was hurting herself, but after talking to her, I'm relieved to know she's not and thankful she opened up, but she is still hurting and I don't know what to do. Hopefully, someone reading this can help me help her
About two weeks ago, we went to a church gathering in someone's backyard, and for the record, I don't think we should've gone with everything going on (and there were like 25 people and the home wasn't that big, albeit we were in the backyard), but we didn't have a choice and had to come along, and we were coming straight from one of my sister's practices which made it harder to ask them to drop me off like I sometimes do, but most of the time they do, it's for when they go shopping and not social gatherings. I've asked to stay home for other similar things before, but they always say that "we go as a family" and other stuff, so I kind of knew their answer before even asking
We arrived there late because we came straight there, but there were other kids there although I mostly stayed to myself like I usually did. However, and I'm sorry for getting to this so late and rambling... when my sister began to play with some of the others on the grass, dad apparently scolded her for it when we got home, and I believe mom was there from what she told me. When I asked her what happened, she told me that he was upset at her for removing her jacket and playing on the grass because it was "inappropriate" with other boys there, but when I asked her how so, she said it's similar to how some people in our church wear t-shirts over their bathing suits when they go swimming to try and be modest or something, but I've always thought that that was a bit much and over the top. However, he also told her that she shouldn't have done gymnastics on the grass because it was too "showy", and I tried to tell her that he's being ridiculous again and how hypocritical that is when some of the people from our youth group have photos on their Instagram of them in bathing suits or sometimes at the beach who also go to these gatherings and put on this modest act, but she didn't get it when I told her and continued to think it's her fault when I clearly think it isn't. There were other people there who were flipping around on the grass too, and they never once told her to keep her jacket on or anything like that until they got home and pulled it out of their ass, and now she's been wearing nothing but long sleeves the past few weeks and thinks that it's acceptable for them to say stuff like that when it isn't her fault, but she just can't see that. She also got punished and wasn't allowed to go to one of her practices, but I don't know how to help her or if I'm overstepping my boundaries by trying to do so. I know she probably sees everything they say as gospel now, but I want to help her realize that there's nothing wrong with her simply because they pulled that out of nowhere, but I don't know how to say it in a way that can really help her, and I hate to see her with this complex because of them
I guess my question is this. If anyone has any advice on how to help her to better reach her, I'd really appreciate that because I don't know what else to say or how to go about it at this point, so any advice would be great. Thank you for reading that and answering in advance
TL;DR: My parents scolded my sister for being "immodest" at a church gathering by taking off her jacket and playing with other kids on the grass in her uniform after coming straight there from gymnastics practice
This is a crosspost for advice from different perspectives
Submitted March 27, 2021 at 06:35PM by ThrowRAthebackyard https://ift.tt/3sv89i2
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