How do I (26f) break up with me FWB(23m) of 8 months? He’s been a total jerk to me and doesn’t deserve me, but I’m worried about retaliation on his end because he is immature and does not take rejection well.

UPDATE: OH MY GOD I DID IT. Thank you all for the confidence and advice. I really wasn’t sure if I could. Covid has been so lonely for me and I think that’s how I allowed him to live rent free in my mind/life for so long.

To clarify, I’m fully aware it’s not breaking up. But we have been each other’s main human contact during covid so it felt a lot strong bond than I think a normal FWB would.

I took his phone and checked for nudes. There were none. I realized I may have deleted them in the past and just forgot. I looked in the hidden folder and almost barfed. It was screenshots of TONS of girls bikini pics from tinder.

He was taking off his clothes, and honestly, for the first time the thought of having sex with him disgusted me. I just couldn’t do it. So instead of putting off this talk I just went at it. I told him how I don’t appreciate his lies and taking advantage and using me. And basically got everything I needed off my chest. He didn’t say much. He seemed a little stunned it was happening.

This is really the first time in my life I’ve stood up for myself with a man and not just allowed myself to continue being walked all over. I’m really proud of myself.

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I feel so silly writing this, asking for help with someone I’m not even dating. But I realized I’ve never actually ‘broken up’ with anyone, and anytime I’ve had a real break up it’s gone horribly.

Anyways, here’s a short play-by-play:

• we met on an app 8 months ago
• agreed to be exclusive FWB to keep our ‘covid bubble’ safe, also agreed to no condoms since I have an IUD
• found out that he was lying about being exclusive & to make matters worse was not using protection with other partners.
• he’s been very self serving and selfish/unsupportive in the friend relm. One Example of many inequities: for his birthday he wanted to go on a trip just us, we did, I paid for a lot(which I didn’t mind) For my birthday he gave me 1/2 bottle of lube & offered to pay for dinner then didnt. It’s laughable really how stupid I have been.
• we have a lot of ... intimate photos and videos, I work as an engineer and he works retail. He’s been always very intimidated by my career, and So I am concerned about him retaliating and sending/posting these videos and photos of me online. I do have his phone passcode and have considered going on it and deleting any photos of me pre-breakup.

In all reality, If it weren’t for covid this man would of never had access to me for as long as he did. It served me okay for awhile I guess, but I’m now just tired of the gaslighting and making me feel insecure. I’ve dated toxic men like this before, and it’s almost like when I leveled up in life, I didn’t level up my dating/sex partner standards.

Anyways. He’s coming over at 6 PST for a “quickie” cause he’s just “too busy to spend the night anymore”. And I think after months of internal debate I’m finally ready to face the music and break up with him. But how? Please help. I don’t want to have to delay this any more. I shouldn’t be crying over this jerk what is wrong with me. I’m such an introvert I don’t know how to deal with stuff like this.

tl;dr - my FWB has been an unsupportive, selfish jerk who has been screwing other ppl without condoms at the peak of covid. He constantly is using me and taking advantage of the fact I am a kind, generous person. He has a lot of nudes of me and I am worried about retaliation. I do have his phone passcode but don’t know if I should use it secretively to delete my nudes. How do I ‘break up’ with him properly?

Submitted March 26, 2021 at 12:08PM by gudGawdLemon https://ift.tt/3w6tMHQ