I have been in a depressive state for about a year after losing my job at the begining of the pandemic. This deepened around 6 months later after finally finding another job and getting laid off again after a second round of shutdowns happened in my state. I felt distant and like there was no use in trying to find work because I felt I would just be let go again. I'm able to provide for all of my partner and I'd needs but we were still distant because I was not communicating how low I felt.
At some point after my second lay off, my fiance started hanging out with a co worker and I thought nothing of it because I wanted to give her the independence to go out and have fun with friends and I had complete trust in her. After a few weeks, she and this coworker had apparently met up and one thing led to another and they slept together. After a few weeks, I had left town for the day to get together with some friends, and they slept together again at our house while I was away.
I had suspected something because she was distant during this time and was spending more time away and not at home but I trusted her completely and never thought she would do something like this.
Within the last few weeks, things improved and we've been less distant but it was still gnawing at me that we had that distance and in a moment of weakness, I looked through her phone and found messages confirming my suspicions. She had broken it off after the second time they slept together, but still casually talked to them in a platonic way. They wanted to still pursue something but she told them that she was no longer interested and wanted to try and spend more time with me.
After finding these messages, I confronted my fiance and td her how betrayed I felt and how I don't know how I can build trust for her again. She told me she regretted it each time but was confused about our status in the relationship because I hadn't communicated how deeply my depression was effecting me. She questioned at the time how much our commitment was because I was isolating myself at home so much. She reiterated that she didn't find any joy in it and broke it off because she was disgusted at what age was doing. She wants to work it out and doesn't want to end our relationship.
I deeply still love her and don't want to end our relationship, but I honestly don't know how to proceed from here or how to build back any trust that I once had.
Tldr; My fiance slept with a coworker because I was distant due to depression, she felt disgusted about what she did and broke it off with coworker and wants to work things out but I don't know how to put trust back into our relationship.
Submitted March 27, 2021 at 10:39AM by throwaway64328654 https://ift.tt/3u69jRD
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