My boyfriend (26m) and I (25f) have been together for 5 years now and this is the first time I've ever been afraid of him. Last Saturday night my boyfriend and I were playing videogames online with our own group of friends.
We both had been drinking quite a bit at this point. My boyfriend decides to get off the game he was playing with his friends and come see what i was doing.
The conversation as i remember it went something like this:
Him: Oh, this game looks cool.
Me: Yeah, it's fun so far this is my first match.
Him: 20 more minutes then it's time to watch a show.
Me: Um, i dont know how long the matches are this is my first time playing.
Him: Have you taken a shower yet? Get off and take a shower with me.
Me: Why are you acting like this? You're being really controlling.
Then he takes off my headphones, unplugs my computer and throws everything on the ground and starts yelling about how he should take priority and the people I talk to on discord are just simps and are putting ideas in my head about how he's controlling (I've never even talked about him to anyone).
I tell him I don't want to argue and lay in bed with my back towards him and he's pulling my leg trying to pull me out of bed and I say "leave me alone" and he starts shoving me. I then tried to leave and he just shoved me back onto the bed and gets directly in my face and says I better meet him in the shower. He goes to take a shower, I don't.
Then more arguing and yelling later he says he's sorry and doesn't even remember what he was angry about, he said he drank too much and lost control. I've never seen him be so angry and scary in all the time I've known him. He's usually the sweetest guy ever. I'm still tearing up about it even though it happened days ago. I'm not sure what to do because now I'm afraid to play videogames online because it upsets him.
I still love him but is this the beginning of a cycle of abuse? If so should I run? Could we maybe talk about why he got so upset and maybe make some rules about how we spend our time?
(TL;DR: Boyfriend got physically aggressive with me after 5 years together, I don't know how to react. I love him but I'm a little scared at the same time)
Adding this from another comment: Now that i think about it, he has done other things and it's always when he's drunk and always when I'm doing something on my own. One time he locked the door to the bedroom after i was up late playing videogames. He also shut off my computer before while i was playing a game with people, he threw my phone a few times. Maybe he thinks he has power because he pays most of the bills. He pays 2/3 of rent, I pay 1/3 but i also cook and buy our groceries and pet food. It seems like this isn't the first incident but it is the first time its gotten physical. I guess it's been escalating for a long time. I really do feel like a frog in boiling water.
Submitted March 29, 2021 at 01:00PM by RevolutionaryScale59 https://ift.tt/2Phi6kO
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