My (30F) mom (55F) innocently wants me to rejoin a religion/cult and doesn't understand why it's a threat to everything I love.

TLDR: kept relationship with mom after leaving the family cult. She doesn't know the extent of my distaste for them, and I'm afraid honesty will kill our relationship for good.

I (30F) was raised as a Jehovah's Witness. My doubts grew exponentially in my 20s, and I informed my mom that I did not want to attend meetings anymore. Surprisingly my mom accepted it calmly and we have maintained a good relationship. This is not a typical JW parent reaction but I'm thankful for it.

We had a lot of family drama going on so I was not baptized as a teen like most JW children are. This is a critical loophole that allows my mother to still have contact with me. If I had been baptized and lived my current life, I would have been disfellowshiped immediately and lost all contact with my entire family and social network. Honestly this loophole offends me but I won't explore that here.

Today, she is still a JW and I do not have any religious feelings, nor desire to have any. My husband and his family identify as Christian (coolest, kindest Christians I've ever known). Unlike JWs, I now celebrate holidays and birthdays with them.

We've maintained our relationship by avoiding talking about our differences at length. I avoid calling her on days that I know she has "meetings" (church) and I try not to mention our holiday plans for too long. I try very hard to avoid any indication that I do not approve of children being raised the way I was. I don't resent my childhood, but if she thinks I do she will bear terribe guilt and I don't want that for her. Even though I now believe JWs to be a high-control-group, or cult-like, it is very real to her and she genuinely believes their work saves lives. She likely has doubts that her children will survive Armagedon and I can imagine how heartbreaking that must be to her. I don't want to hurt my mother for loving me and wanting me to be "saved".

Currently: My mom invited me to participate in the JW Memorial of Christ's Death (their only sacred annual holiday). She has not done this for years and I thought we had an understanding that I did not want ANY invitations every (I set that boundary with my divorced father a long time ago).

I immediately called her but I was so upset I almost couldn't talk. I tried to explain why I was upset but I probably wasn't making much sense. She appologized and was upset that she had unintentionally caused distressed. I knew she only meant well but how could she not know the implications of that invitation?

Nothing in my life aligns with JW teachings. It would mean - No more contact with husband's family, no holidays - Strained relationship with husband ("unevenly yoked") - Must adopt homophobic views - Dropping out of college / abandon career - Cutting out all of my amazing friends - Altering every decision I make: books, movies, music - Accepting death rather than a blood transfusion - Accepting women as inferior beings to men - Being told to work part time so I have more time for spiritual activities. - Committig myself to an organization that systemically allows abu$ers to thrive.

Our phone conversation shifted after we mutually agreed that 10pm was not a good time to get into it, but now I'm left with a choice.

We could rug-sweep and forget it happened, moving on with our opposite lives, or we could talk it out. Talking it out risks me being labeled as an Apostate (extra bad, might require her to shun me after all), but rug-sweeping feels like a bandaid that leaves me with the feeling that my mom doesn't actually accept my life as-is.

What do I do? Avoid offending her and hope for the best in the future roadblocks, or try to show her how destructive JWs are and why the invitation was offensive to me?

Submitted March 28, 2021 at 02:40PM by short_cup- https://ift.tt/39nnxFP