I (19F) am white. I somewhat frequently babysit a friend's kid (8M) who's black and don't know how to respond to him when he says he doesn't like his dark skin.

I (19F) am white. I have a family friend, and me and my family frequently babysit for them. They have wonderful kids, two of them adopted. And only one of them (8M) is black.

He's a wonderful kid. Loves coming over and seeing my family, and we all love him to death. Its never been about skin color for us. He's a good kid and that's what matters to us.

The issue is that he knows very few people with dark skin. His family is all white. He goes to a mostly white school, lives in a mostly white neighbourhood, and my family is all white. He feels like he's the odd one, which is understandable. But I don't know how to respond to this. This is a discussion he should have with his parents, not me. But I don't know how to respond to certain comments he makes. For example, this was a conversation in the car today. I don't remember how it started, but there were no mentions of appearance or skin color prior. (I am paraphrasing slightly here, keep in mind).

8M: I wish I had white skin. Me: Well, I think your skin is beautiful. 8M: That's easy for you to say. (This caught me completely off guard, because he's right. It is easy for me to say as a white person.) My Dad (48M): Why do you want to be white? You're beautiful like you are. 8M: Because my family and my friends and my classmates are white. And I don't love anyone with dark skin like me. (He didn't mean this as he hated dark skinned people, he just meant there was no one in his life, like his family, that he loved and had dark skin).

I don't remember the rest of the conversation, I think we moved on to telling knock knock jokes. I don't know what to say in these situations. He's said this on several occasions. And he's completely right, this is easy for me to say as a white person who grew up around other white people. His experience is uniquely different from mine and I can't relate to him on that level.

I don't want to address this issue entirely, because I'm not his parents and its not my job to do this. How they handle it is up to them. But in those moments, what do I say? What do I do? I want him to know I love him no matter what, whether he has light or dark skin doesn't matter, and I really mean it when I say his skin is beautiful. But I'm coming at him as another white person who grew up with people who looked like me. I just want to support the kid.

TLDR: Dark skinned kid I babysit frequently says he wants white skin. I try and tell him I love him and he's beautiful, but I'm just another white person who grew up with white people. I don't how to reassure him.

EDIT: I should mention his parents know. They are wonderful parents to him. I can't tell you the exact details of how they address the issue, I don't know. I do know they try and engage him in discussions of black culture, such as telling him about MLK.

Submitted March 27, 2021 at 05:04PM by AnonHelp0404 https://ift.tt/3d9ZAml