I have know this man for 17 years. He is older than I am. We met in college when I was 19 and he was 37. I was an undergrad and he was going for a PhD and we happened to have an elective course together. One day we are put to work in a project together and realized we both are painters so we bonded over that. The friendship was born there.
About three years into the friendship he tells me that he constantly cheats on his wife. When he told me this he already had four kids with her and they had been married since age 18. He’s her only, and she thinks she’s his only. However, he has serially cheated on her since the first year they were together.
The man has had quite literally over a dozen affairs through his workplace, through painting circles, through his work travels, through mutual friends. Etc etc. He also regularly buys escorts. This year so far he has already been with 7 escorts.
For a very long time I accepted this and even admired it and thought it was “cool”. I have drastically changed over the years as I grew older and now find myself disgusted and disturbed by his cheating addiction. I no longer see it as “just something guys do”. The 36 year old me thinks very differently from the 26 year old me. Even much differently from the person I was only 2 years ago.
Somewhere through time my values changed (thank god) and I’ve come to really disrespect, dislike, and loathe this good friend because of his cheating. I can’t even look his wife in the face anymore without wanting to crawl under a table. I feel sick to my stomach at our monthly dinners when I know what he does behind her back.
For a while now I’ve had the urge to ghost him, as to cut him out of my life. He is unaware of how I feel and would be shocked by it. Would it be understandable if I ended our friendship, or would I be a hypocrite?
Tl;dr: a friend I’ve had for nearly two decades is a serial cheater, and I finally cannot take it anymore. What do?
Submitted March 30, 2021 at 03:18PM by 88muscle https://ift.tt/3ftjwDt
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