My (29F) Best Friend (33F) is planning her Wedding but keeps comparing it to mine and getting angry at me. I'm not even engaged, how do I proceed?

Sorry if this is a bit long, I'm using a throwaway - usual reasoning. Me and my best friend have known each other for about 13 years, we met through mutual friends and kinda hit it off. We've been inseparable ever since even though we are opposites, I'm a career woman (I work in finance) and she's more of the type to want children because she wants to be a stay at home mom - which I do NOT have a problem with (sometimes its get read that way). I'm a planner and organised person where as shes a more go with the flow type of girl (I promise this is relevant).

Anyway 18 months ago her boyfriend proposed to her, our boyfriends know each other but they aren't particularly close so it came as a nice surprise to us. At the moment they have no venue, no date, or any plans. Which is totally cool! But she's always said she didnt want a long engagement and that she'd want to be married within two years of getting engaged - due to her wanting kids etc. The first couple of times I mentioned the wedding she's gotten a bit shirty with me, so I kinda left it. Until a four months ago when I asked if they've seen any venues they like yet and she just snapped at me asking why everyone keeps asking her about how the wedding planning is going.

​

So I decided to take her out for coffee and ask if everything is okay because she doesn't quite seem herself and I wanted to make sure she wasn't going through anything she felt like she couldn't share with me. She opened up to me that she's worried all her ideas for the wedding are rubbish and she knows mine would be better. I told her she was being silly and also a bit irrational since I'm not even engaged. I said it doesn't matter what my wedding or anyone elses wedding will be like as long as she likes her own then who cares? (Sidenote, she knows that me and my boyfriend were currently having in depth discussions because I wanted to get married but he wasn't ready) She said "Well you can just plan the wedding for me" I told her I didnt feel comfortable with that, especially with everything going on in my own relationship, but I said I'd help her and make some sort of mood board. She never got in touch about doing it.

I thought that was that, but a few days ago we were out with some girl friends and someone asked her how the wedding planning was going. She said she's given up because mine will be way better so she's going to wait until I've had my wedding and just copy my ideas. It's starting to irritate me now, especially as me and my boyfriend have gotten through the discussions and he is more open to the idea of marriage and kids - even to the point he's excited! But the comments my friend has made has put this downer on the whole thing.

​

I've tried talking to her about it but she suffers with anxiety so she ends up crying and freaking out. This isn't the first time she's made comments, she once moaned at me because if I had kids, my partner could support us and I wouldn't have to go back to work, but they cant afford for her to be a stay at home Mom. I've worked very hard to get where I am in my job, and so has my partner, this has involved working weekends, long evenings and business trips. I've never mentioned how much we earn or anything like that, she just assumes.

​

So I'm seeing my friend on Saturday, its a group situation so someone will ask about her wedding. How do I react if she says the same as last time?

​

TLDR; My best friend keeps making comments about my wedding being better than hers. I'm not even engaged and it's starting to make me feel guilty. How do I fix this?

Submitted September 27, 2018 at 10:31AM by jealousfriend2456 https://ift.tt/2DxOY25