My [20F] dad [48M] has a habit of ruining my intimate relationships, and tonight caused a problem in my current relationship of almost a year with “Joe”[23M]. What should I say to my dad? Am I overreacting/overthinking?

Hello everyone, so I will start this off by saying my relationship with my dad isn’t very good. I’ve had problems with him my whole life and recently (a couple months ago) we were trying to patch things up. During this discussion I told him I was upset that I felt like he hadn’t supported any of my relationships and that he had forced me to break up with my previous two boyfriends by threatening to stop paying for college or kicking me out (these previous boyfriends were not criminals or assholes or anything, they were genuinely good people and made me happy but he did not think they were good enough for me).

I’ve been seeing someone that we will call Joe for about a year now, we do not have a title because we are both comfortable with how things are at this point in time. My dad has met him once briefly while Joe was helping me pick up some stuff from my house. I told my dad numerous times that I am very happy with Joe and the relationship that we have. My dad has seen countless examples of Joe being a great and generous man. Joe also has a great job and is on the path to a great career. Joe is the ideal guy (not saying he’s perfect but I’m generalizing).

So anyways flash forward to this week. Joe required something professionally and my dad’s wife (not my mom) can do this for Joe. I reached out to her to see if she could do this thing and she was all for it. Today she was talking to my dad about it. My dad called me and flipped out upon finding out I talked to her about helping Joe. He was mad that I didn’t ask him if it was okay for her to help him first. Then he was mad because apparently Joe didn’t respond to her latest email and he’s a douchebag.Then he was mad because I’m trying to help Joe even though we’re not dating. Then he got mad because Joes not good enough for me because he doesn’t want to date me and he’s a douchebag (because he didn’t respond to the email in the same day) and I have to end things with Joe. I didn’t know how to respond and told him I didn’t think it was a problem to ask for her help, why would I have to go through him? I told him I didn’t know why Joe didn’t respond but Joe was probably busy because he works and is dealing with family problems and has a lot on his plate. I also repeated to him for the millionth time that Joe is a great guy and the relationship I have with him works for us and is mutual. I then ended the call because I had some studying to do and didn’t want to deal with confronting him about how ridiculous he was being (in my opinion).

So after the conversation with my dad I’m very angry and I go over to Joes place and I get mad about him not emailing my dad’s wife back. Well...he did email her telling her he would look everything over tonight. Then Joe showed me that he’s already written up a draft response to everything she sent him and he was waiting to send it until he heard from other parties involved with the business. Joe then got mad because I got mad at him based off of something my dad said, when we both have known my dad to be untruthful and unreasonable. He no longer wants to do business with my dad’s wife and he’s very mad at my dad for getting angry with me and involving me in something that was a professional matter.

I’m angry with my dad as well but I don’t know how to confront him about how he’s acting and what to say. I’m also unsure if I did something wrong. Maybe Joe and I are the bad people in this situation and my dad is being reasonable? I just don’t want problems with my dad to interfere in another one of my relationships, but I also am desperately trying to fix my relationship with my dad.

Any advice or thoughts are appreciated.

TLDR; My dad has a history of interfering in my relationships, and is now causing a problem in my most recent one. I want to have a good relationship with my father but not if it means he is going to continue to be unsupportive of those I choose to be with.

Submitted September 26, 2018 at 09:07PM by ugly_bitch_ https://ift.tt/2zAGu6s