As the title says, I've gone through the past 5 years; half of my 20s, without a single friend in my life. I don't know how things got this bad, nor do I know how to get out of this situation.
I had plenty of friends throughout school but my social circle rapidly started shrinking throughout uni, when I became extremely busy and social gatherings were few and far between.
After moving to a new city 5 years ago to start my current career, that circle reduced to zero. I still kept in touch with a couple of old school-mates online for a short time, but the conversations grew more rare and eventually stopped entirely. My only constant companion for the past 5 years has been my wife, not accounting for colleagues at work and the odd family member I see during the holidays.
I tried going to the various social events for graduates and people new to the city in the beginning, but no connections ever seemed to stick. I've subsequently tried things like MeetUp or picking up random hobbies, but it's always the same. I might start connecting with someone and getting along briefly, but they inevitable flake, or have a pre-existing friend group that they return to.
I'm one of those people who is somewhat quiet, but well-liked by just about everyone. Despite this though, I sometimes get strong signals that no one wants to go beyond a casual acquaintance or work-only relationship. I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong - it's not as though I don't have anything to talk about, or that I don't put effort into relationships and initial conversation or suggest activities. I'm honestly a fairly normal dude, but it's gotten to a point where I feel like an alien on this planet. I sometimes go out and see people sitting around chatting and laughing and just feel... empty.
It's been so long since I experienced a genuine connection with another human being that wasn't mediated by work, or by alcohol at a party, that I don't even remember what it feels like. Hence the alien feeling.
The worst part about this is I see it happening to others as well; people I know through family and work. But in most cases people seem to be shutting everyone else out and insulating. This is probably 100% my subjective perception, but the world seems to be growing cold and disconnected. At least in my corner of the planet.
Has anyone been in this spot before and if you got out, how?
TL;DR: I'm 28M and haven't made any friends in the past 5 years. I don't even remember how and I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
Submitted March 24, 2021 at 04:35AM by tway794613 https://ift.tt/3d6mMlg
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