I, 32F, feeling overwhelmed by daily, paragraph-long text messages in the early stages of dating 30sM

I’m looking for some perspective on how much is too much when it comes to communication (texting, phone calls, DMs) in the early stages of dating or getting to know someone (as in within the first few weeks or months).

I know everyone has different communication styles. But twice now I’ve met up with men from a dating app who sent frequent, long text messages (I’m talking multiple paragraphs at a time asking me a lot of questions about myself, my life) beginning almost right away after meeting me. One would also call me every day.

I tried to respond as best I could at first but eventually was forced to explain that I had work and other priorities that had to come first. I ended up breaking it off with both of them bc I was so overwhelmed (one of them we had been on literally 1 date and he seemed to expect to have hours-long conversations every day!)

I said we were not on the same page when it came to communication. But truthfully, I was also a little annoyed. After about 2 weeks, I had completely lost interest due to feeling smothered. I also felt, on some level, like it wasn't fair to expect so much from me before even knowing what they wanted out of the relationship. Like, why invest so heavily before even knowing whether it’s going somewhere?

Was I wrong to see this as a potential red flag / Is it really just an issue of incompatibility? Is this normal texting behavior and I’m the one who needs to step it up?

FWIW both of these guys seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me better - it was just "too much, too soon" and i couldn't keep up! i would think nothing of it if it hadn't happened twice now. thanks in advance for your insights! ❤️

Tl;dr: 32F recently met two men also 30+ on a dating app and felt overwhelmed by daily, paragraph-long texts with lots of personal questions. Both men implied that I was disinterested or unresponsive when I couldn’t keep up. Ended it with both. Is this normal?

Submitted October 22, 2021 at 08:51PM by nocturnalswan https://ift.tt/3vBKoHz