Will probably get buried - and I am sure you heard this all before - but it's just time I came here to vent. I've become incredibly frustrated in my marriage and I am not sure if it's justified.
Been married almost two years. Together for about four before that. Started out strong. Sex every other day it seemed. Lots of fun. I made more so usually paid for everything. Has been what I thought a good relationship the past few years. However over that time I've continued to take on most of the responsibilities in the relationship. Finances, I contribute basically 100% of our shared expenses. Bills. Errands. I do most if not all. I have to plan everything. Trips. Nights out. What we watch. Most major life decisions - like the house we just bought. I don't believe it became this way by choice. And I am certainly not one who wants to control every aspect of a marriage. So this is where the frustration has slowly revealed itself.
I don't know why it took so long. Or how I let it go so far without bringing it up. But slowly over the last few months I've begun to realize how one sided my marriage has become. What's worse is it's gone from just a material to now also an emotional lopsidedness. At this point I feel like if I don't start a conversation nothing gets said. Quite literally if I chose tomorrow to not talk unless spoken to...not a word would be uttered. The same in regard to sex. If I don't initiate then it could be weeks before she does. The longer that sex dynamic has gone on, the less and less I've now become comfortable even initiating. Why put myself out there when she seems to have no interesting in being physical? Which has been a growing strain as my sex drive can be high. I'd want it to go back to the early days but no longer feel that's an option. Even her presence is no longer something that I get as she spends what feels like 90% of her free time away from the house doing a hobby of hers.
I love her - but I ask you all, at what point does love stop being enough? I feel like I struggle knowing what is and isn't the right or healthy type or relationship. In my view they should be two way. Both parties give and take. Both sacrifice in their own way to help the other. And maybe that view is wrong. But if it isn't - does my situation apply? Am I right to feel frustrated? Or am I just complaining and expecting too much? Curious everyone's thoughts. Advice where it can be given. Next steps would be appreciated. Thanks.
TLDR - Married. Feel like I am the only one contributing to the relationship - from finances to simple conversation. Now sex and hanging out have gone as well. Not sure if I am justified in my frustrations.
Submitted October 31, 2021 at 05:13AM by AnomRepeat https://ift.tt/3Bwej5f
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