background:(the is going to be long but please help a brother out)
we've had incredible relationship..for 3 years we had almost no fights,and even the one we had,has been solved after 3 minutes because we communicate extremly well (or so i thought)..she was THE love of my life
my ex (i cant belive i need to call her like that) had some sexual expirences with womans before,from the start i knew she was bi, and i was fine with that..also right from the start i knew she has commitment issues (she's very loyal..its more like having troubles to move in with me or talk about weeding and stuff) i was fine with that,i belived that after all this time and everything that i gave her,that its possible for us to overcome these issues together.also she always dreamt of taking a few month trip to south america..which is something that many people do in my country at that age.
the story:
few week ago we was pretty drunk,she told me she wouldnt be comfortable the bring in another girl (we always talked about doing threesome) because she's feel that she will objectify the other woman because we'll both use her from our own pleasure,and she want to try to open the relationship while shes abroad,that she needs to know how shes like in a lesbian relationship ,(her expirence's was when she was much younger).given her that was not possible for me..not as quickly..i told her that maybe someday it will be possible for me,maybe will get there step by step..but a month from now when she's 16 hours flight away from me is to much.i ask her if these feeling are worth loseing me, she said no..that this is the alcohol talking..after this conversation i started to feel insecure about our relationship for the first time..
few day ago she booked her flight ticket,and eventhough we always talked and planned how we will go through it togther.she start she feel extremly confused...OVER FUCKING 1 NIGHT! the night before we talked and i asked her spcificly what does she feels and she said that every thing is ok..
over one night she told me she's afriad that she will not want to make an effort to talk to me while she's there, she's not willing to promise me that if ill have diffuclties if she decide to extend the trip for few more month,she will even consider on doing adjusments for me..that the whole woman thing is maybe the the issue preveting her to be commited to me..she said she dont want to have these thoughts,and when we are toghter she feel whole and happy..but it always come back to her when were apart..i was so comfused...i asked her why she never told me that,she answered that these thoughts poped up,at these level recently...i said that it might be the stress from the trip and that its not something that need it break us up,that we can work on it toghter before,while and after her trip..i asked her if all the time we had,all the memories good and hard times..my famliy and everything that i gave her is not worthy of only try and fix it..i didnt expect to solve it i just wanted to try..thats all i asked, i offered to go to Counseling she said ok..and i told her that if she will go through it she need to do it for herself and for our relationship..not becuase i asked her to..she told me she need to think about that..
that broke my heart so bad..she wont even consider to try, i allway gave her every thing, i felt she gave me the best that she can too.. but i was wrong..how the fuck after all this time taking an effort is not something she's wiiling to do..the first time we have hard time she leaves! around 5 days ago everything was good,we was in love..i dont know what is worse that she had these thoughts for a while and i had no idea about them, and all these talks about keeping everything on the table was bullshit,or that these feeling occured because of the trip and she leave me my family everything we had, because 4-6 months abroad.. i understand that feeling free during thsese kind of trips is important.but not even try and get through it?? how the hell she could say all of that to me and at the same time that she loves me and dont want to leave me??! if you love some one you atleast try!
im feeling so betrayed and so empty..she was and still is the love of my life..she's alomst as beautiful from the outside as shes from the inside...shes having really hard time and i dont blame her for having these thoughts...not talking to her and her famliy.who i grew to love as my own famliy is killing me.but worse because im still alive to deal with that. any tip or help.maybe sharing your exprience will help me..i dont know what to do and how to cope with all this pain.
3 fucking years go to waste with in 5 days (from my prespective).this is so unfair..
TLDR:my gf of 3 year left me out of the blue,to discover her sexualty on south america
Submitted October 26, 2021 at 06:08AM by DooingmyBest https://ift.tt/3vO1mT5
No comments:
Post a Comment