My dad and I haven't really gotten on but our relationship has significantly worsened through the years. When I was a kid he was never in my life and always abroad and when he was at home I hated it as he was emotionally and physically abusive to my mum and to me and my siblings.
When I started high-school my dad became worse, he started following me around in his car to make sure I wasn't with boys and was really paranoid about me having a boyfriend. One time I had come home late wearing a skirt which earned a slap because he thought I was with a boy, I was 14 years old at the time. Due to these experiences I had never dated and became very paranoid around men and didn't want romantic relationships with them and I didn't start dating until I was 21. With age my dad did become to calm down, he hadn't hit me as an adult and whilst we did have huge disagreements - it luckily never turned physical but emotionally it very much did take a toll on me.
I currently still live at home and I work remotely from home after graduating from University. I sometimes help my mum with bills and groceries here and there but I don't have much money. I just want to make it clear my dad does not pay for bills or support me and my mum money-wise. He does spot me money here and there when I need it but its rare he pays for food or bills. He also doesn't live at home but he does visit once a week, but once a week is enough to make my life and self-esteem drop significantly. I have gained quite a bit of weight during lockdown, it's something I'm trying to work on but I have always struggled with my relationship with food because of my weight gain my relationship with my dad has been made even worse, when he sees me he calls me lazy and fat - says I look unattractive and that I'm staying fat to spite him because if I wanted to I could have lost it by now.
This took a huge toll on my mental health, I'm on antidepressants and my breakdowns have been more frequent and my binging worse. Recently I have been going on dates, I was out on a Sunday at 6pm - my dad called me screaming in anger telling me I couldn't leave the house whenever I wanted and demanded I came home. I'm at a point now where I feel horrible and trapped, I don't know what to do - I had tried so hard to have a relationship with him but it feels like it can never happen. My mum is not good with confronting him, he can do whatever he wants because she doesn't have the emotional strength to kick him out of her life for good. I don't have any money to move out - I feel miserable in this house. I'm at a point where I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: My dad has no involvement in my life, but is very controlling over who I can see and when I go out even though he doesn't live with me and I'm an adult. I need help on what to do.
Submitted October 26, 2021 at 06:37AM by throwaway109203243 https://ift.tt/3158Kyb
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