My ex is a single mum who i love, but i am in my early twenties and shes shown she will lie to me. I cant decide if its unwise to invest so seriously in this at my age considering i dont trust her.

I have tweaked my post, any input would be appreciated.

Tldr: Is breaking up the best option? I don’t like her lying, I feel like I’m better than all that.

So me and my girlfriend have had some problems over the last two years. I am a 24 year old guy with little relationship experience before her. She is a single mum of 24 with a three year old child and a baby daddy who left her and wants nothing to do with her or the child. I accepted her child as my own and sacrificed a lot of my spare time to be with her and help her as her mental health could be very volatile. As a young man, time is a preciosu commodity and i gave up a lot to be with her.

We ended up just seeing each other to begin with then fell in love after we realised how much of a match we are on many levels. Before her I didn’t want a relationship and was happy doing my thing, so helping raise a child was definitely not on my plate either at 24. But the feelings became so strong that I put everything else aside and said to myself that if this was how it was going to be, then so be it, because I’m in love.

She has had a bad past growing up with no father and a rubbish family unit, whereas I’m the complete opposite. I always thought I was ready for this until I caught her in a couple of lies about her texting men from her past. She said it was only on a platonic level but I had a problem with the fact that she hid it from me, and I was uncomfortable with it because I knew that she was no longer friends with this individual, and so it should remain in the past.

She has told me before that him and her have slept together before in the past and she used to think she was in love with him years ago, but that she feels nothing for him now. I hated the sneaking around and said that she can either stop with talking to him behind my back, or we can go out separate ways, because my boundaries are my boundaries and I won’t have them ignored. If she didn’t like it, that’s fine, but we’d both have to move on. She agreed and told me fine all she wanted was me and she had no business sneaking around to talk to these guys behind my back. The messed up thing is she said to me that she would be very hurt if she found out I was in contact with my ex, and i never went out of my way to do it because i cared for her so much. I have had a particular problem with this one guy because he was a threat, he deliberately sent her flirty messages knowing full well she was in a relationship with me and i was hurt that she still entertained contact with him.

Since then, i have caught her twice more, and she had tried to deny it in the first instance until she knew I had evidence. She was also being a bit more flirty than is acceptable when you’re in a relationship.

It has caused me quite a lot of stress and I broke up with her because of it. And she has begged and begged for me back asking for another chance, she said she’ll never lie to me again. She hasnt left me alone for five months since the breakup and said she knows she messed up and wants me back. She says she cant see another man in her future other than me.

But she has lied to me so much around this area that i now find is hard to trust anything she says, but i am still very much in love with her. I sometimes feel like i wont find a connection this strong anywhere else. The thought of her being with another guy makes me feel sick to my stomach, but the thought of a future with her scares me because i dotn want to give all of myself to someone again whos shown how easy she finds it to lie to my face. Can someone really change from a lifetime of behaviours? Also im aware the child is a huge factor in this, i cant come back into his life again and just leave if things get bad again, its not fair on him. I was always on being a father figure to this boy who needs one, but when his mum has shown me she can behave like this, is it unwise for me as a young man in my early twenties to commit to such a situation? I feel so lost.

What would you do in this scenario ?

Submitted October 26, 2021 at 05:30AM by BeeRare2696 https://ift.tt/3Cl5A7g