boyfriend [29M] of 1 year gave me [26F] torn piece of paper and some basic chocolates for my birthday and doesn't pay for his meal

I don't know if I'm the one being demanding here. I don't have a lot of relationship experience so could really use some help.

For his birthday I got him a nice aftershave set, funny birthday card that reflected one of our early dates, cooked him eggs benedicts and salted caramel crepes for breakfast and then a full 3 course meal for dinner (with pretty expensive ingredients - it was also pretty time consuming but I was happy to do it to make him happy).

My Birthday rolls and he does nothing. He gives me a some chocolates from the grocery store and a piece of paper hes torn out of a book where hes written happy birthday and has drawn some stick figures onto. the paper is pretty bare and blank and you can tell this was a very last minute put together- I mean he couldnt even be bothered to smooth the edge of the paper with a scissors so it wouldnt look torn out. He knew my about my birthday in advance and has had plenty of time on his hands, works a decent job full time and has minimal expenses so really there was no excuse to at least get me some candles or something small, heck just a regular card he couldnt even be bothered with.

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I tried to stay positive about it regardless and thanked him for the gift. we had decided to go out with our friends, he didn't cook anything for me but hes not very good with it vs I'm an experienced chef. Anyway we have a nice meal. At the end its time to pay and he just stands there doesn't offer or anything. One of our friends pay and I tell him I'll transfer my part of it - my friend says no its your birthday don't worry about it, but I couldnt accept the offer so I say no I'll transfer, my bf doesnt say anything - he doesnt even offer to pay for his half of the meal! I wait for the next day to see if he offers to pay for his half - nothing.

I mean hes been pretty stingy with money from the beginning and I thought he just didn't notice that he was making me pay a lot of the time. I talked to him about it - and it had improved for a bit but now I'm not so sure.

when ever I go to his house, I take tones of ingredients to cook dinner and breakfast for the both of us. usually theres left overs which I leave for him to have lunch even. I'll also bring something to drink for us.

when he comes over to me on the other hand - he brings NOTHING, not even a drink. if I want him to cook - I have to spell it out - hey I've cooked several times in a row its your turn! and even then he wont have ingredients in his fridge to cook anything with when I go over and expects me to go shopping with him after a long day at work to buy things to cook with. Meanwhile he would have had all day to do it himself. I drive out of my way to visit him all the time since he doesn't drive and works from home, at this point I feel like I go above and beyond for this relationship and he couldnt even get me a card.

I'm so upset that I'm questioning whether I should be in this relationship. I never thought I was someone who expected much but now I dont know if Ive just let him take advantage of it. On the other hand I'm worried Im being materialistic.
So guys be honest am I being unfair with my expectations ?

tl;dr: Bf of 1 year is pretty stingy with his money even though he makes a decent earning and has minimal expenses. I'm always going above and beyond in this relationship and he couldnt even get me a birthday card

Submitted October 30, 2021 at 12:19AM by confus3dp https://ift.tt/3vXbIzY