My housemate has weekly screaming matches with her boyfriend (who pretty much lives here but doesn't pay rent) at 4 am. I want both of them out. Is that entitlement?

First-time poster. This is super long and I'm not 100% sure how this works but I've seen the Twitter posts so here goes:

Background: I (22F) live in an apartment that's part of a community complex with 5 other women (and a man who shouldn't be here but we'll get into that). We are all in college and the other ladies are between 18 and late 20s. The housemate in question is 26F, we'll call her "Jodie". I moved in early so I've been here since early September. The other women moved in mid-September. Officially we've all been living together for almost 6 weeks. Two days after everyone was moved in we had a house meeting and decided on rules for living together- like when we should clean the common spaces (weekly) and when to be quiet (midnight - 8 am). We also agreed that we would let the others in the apartment know if we would be having guests over just out of courtesy (not asking permission). These rules are written down and posted on the fridge.

That first night after talking about the rules, Jodie said her boyfriend would be staying over but would be gone super early the next day and we were like cool. The next morning, she messaged the group chat saying that they (Jodie and boyfriend) had an argument the night before and apologized for getting loud and said it wouldn't happen again. I didn't hear them that first night, so I didn't think about it too hard and just acknowledged her message and said that it was fine- I mean shit happens right? Cool.

On to the current issue: Now 4 weeks into living together, around 3:30 am, Jodie and her boyfriend got into another screaming match. THIS time I very much heard it. I'm also about 80% certain it got physical as well cuz there was banging and idk if that was things being thrown or people. They were screaming and yelling at each other for at least 30 minutes and damn near an hour. It was scary and I wanted to go intervene because I was kind of worried for her. At the same time though, she was cussing him out and then it would get quiet and they would start up again. I honestly wasn't sure who the aggressor was in the situation and didn't want to get in the middle of a lovers' spat and catch a stray bullet (figure of speech where I'm from. No guns were involved). Eventually, she was successful in getting him out the door and into the hallways and yelled for someone (who I assume was in the hallway??) to call the cops. At that point, they were out of the apartment so I'm not sure what actually happened but I guess he was gone. Ngl that was kind of traumatizing but I was glad for her that she had gotten out of what I thought was a bad situation. In fact, I was proud of her for standing up for herself even though it was at the expense of my sleep and peace of mind.

Y'all, I kid you not, THE NEXT DAY Jodie strolled into the apartment with this man that she JUST tried to call the cops on THE NIGHT BEFORE. WTF???? Now the rest of us ladies are looking at each other just trying to make sure we are not crazy and we definitely see what we see. But yes, she was most definitely "loved up" on him and they went straight to her room. At this point, we're already uncomfortable and concerned, but I guess these things happen in a relationship??? I guess people fight, call the cops, and make up??? Jodie didn't say anything about their fight (no apology for being loud this time or acknowledgment at all) and we were just gonna let it go because maybe it's a one (two?) time thing, no need to kick up a fuss. The rest of us are pretty non-confrontational. Personally, when pushed too far I'm ready to fight, but it takes a lot to get me there.

It has been 2 weeks since then and they've had 2 more screaming matches. One after midnight a few days ago, and then another this morning- both woke the household up. Not only are they constantly having full-on banshee screaming cussing out battle on a pretty much weekly basis, but he is also here ALL. THE. TIME. Everyday. All-day. And many times without her there. He sleeps over all the time and oftentimes she would leave him there while she goes to work or whatever engagements she has for the day. He’s there in the morning, and he’s there at night (clearly he’s there at 4 am for them to be having fights) and at this point, we feel like we are a household of 7 and not 6 as intended. She also never lets us know that he's coming or staying over. It is particularly upsetting as we all chose to live here with the impression that we would be living with people of the same sex, yet we constantly have a strange man in our apartment with no notice or warning. This strange man also regularly engages in violent explosive fights with a member of the household and so none of the rest of us feel safe.

The rest of us have had whispered conversations and given each other looks, and have tried to be accommodating but after the 3rd scream battle in as many weeks, it all became too much today and we decided we wanted to have a house meeting to sit and talk about it. We didn't want it to seem like an attack on her or anything and didn't want to risk tones and intentions getting misconstrued over text so we said we wanted to meet in person tonight. I volunteered to be the one to ask for the meeting (since I was the one that initiated the first house meeting). Here's a direct transcript of the conversation which happened in the group chat:

Me: Hey y’all! Are y’all free tonight for a house meeting? (Around like 8:30 pm) I think we have important things to discuss and EVERYONE needs to be there. If a different time works, please let me know ASAP.
Jodie: I won’t be there
Me: When will you be available?
Jodie: I won’t wassup I’m out of town is everything okay
Me: No not really…when will you be back?
Jodie: Okay well if it has anything to do with me you can tell me
Jodie: \Facetimes the group**
Me: Not available to pick up right now as I am at work. But I would prefer if everyone meet in person…
Jodie: Well I’m sure whatever needs to be talked about can be discussed over the phone. I pay rent so if it has anything to do with my company being over, take it up with management because it’s a lot of shit that goes in that apartment if people bring loud ass people over
Me: Okay fine…are you available at 8:30 for a Group FaceTime then?
Jodie: No I'm not I'm busy I have no time for something that can be explained to me over the phone
Me: …FaceTime is over the phone
Jodie: No it’s not anyways what is it about me that you need me in person

I stop responding at that point because:

1. I don't want to be the only one having this conversation with her and make it seem like I'm the only one with an issue
2. I was already getting heated and my attitude was fighting to show so I needed a break to rant to my sister about the lack of home training that was on display

I messaged one of the other girls and say that we should all still meet up and make sure we are on the same page and figure out how to handle this together. I get back home at 8:30 for the meeting and the other girls let me know that JODIE IS IN THE FUCKING APARTMENT WITH HER BOYFRIEND. So she lied and I'm pissed at this point but still felt like the 5 of us need to re-group without her because it is now clear that she has no respect for us even when we were trying to have respect for her. We all meet up and I let the other girls know that I'm not gonna be in the group chat fighting alone so they all need to say something. They chimed in the chat with support for a house meeting to talk about any issues we have as a household- we were particularly confused about her comment about loud-ass guests when she's the only one that has (a) guest(s) over regularly. I've had one guest who left at like 9 pm and we were conscious of being super loud. One of the other ladies has had her partner come over but he's here for maybe an hour once a week and they aren't overly loud either.

Okay time to wrap this up: We agreed to insist on an in-person meeting and are giving her 24 hours to get some sense or we're going to management. I have already drafted an email and listed all the clauses in the lease that she has violated. We have a video of her and her boyfriend screaming at 4 am. Is it wrong to send this all to management to try and get her kicked out? Am I really out of line here?? Should I still attempt to talk to her first?

TL;DR: My housemate has screaming matches every week with her boyfriend who basically lives here without paying rent. I want to email management and get both of them kicked out. Is this okay?

Submitted October 27, 2021 at 03:05AM by uthinkucrazy_tryme https://ift.tt/3bgv61t