I can't even believe I am writing this right now. I fully realize that it might seem silly to some people but I'm pretty upset. Last night my husband, who isn't supposed to drink because he's not a good drunk, got drunk and admitted to me that he threw out two of my shamrock plants. The only time he's ever mentioned anything about my plants was about a week or two ago when he said Hey you have way too many Shamrocks. I was like oh okay, I guess I do. I have seven shamrock plants because I counted when he said this. But turns out I actually had nine plants and he threw out two of them shortly before this. He told me last night and thought it was funny. I'm assuming he was just laughing because he was drunk. He never would have told me had he not been drinking (for the record I did notice my plant area was missing something but i couldn't figure out wtf happened, I never would have suspected he would do this as he knows how much I love my plants, especially the shamrocks which remind me of my deceased grandmother)
I was immediately upset about it but decided to drop it because he was not understanding the gravity of the situation. This is a common thing with him, he never brings stuff up to me in an upfront, mature way. He just lets himself get all worked up about stuff instead of speaking with me in an adult fashion. After he had mentioned to me about having too many shamrocks I was starting to arrange with people to take them. Giving away plants is not hard at all, I do it all the time. Every spring I make succulent plants from cuttings of mine for people, I love gifting people plants and I also sell some. So it's not like he had a reason to be afraid to tell me Hey get rid of some plants please. I would have done it. The only reason I had so many plants is they were outgrowing their pots and I had split some a few months ago. Not all transplants grow well so I always do a couple more than I want and the extras are super easy to give away. I like to have a number of shamrocks on the go at all times because I've been known to kill a few and I would be devastated to lose them all (they come from a plant my grandmother had before she died). I like knowing I have a bunch and that other people have them too in case I ever need to start over with them.
I really don't know what to do. I truly don't believe my husband is a mean spirited person but maybe I'm wrong? He's thrown out my stuff before, this isn't the first time something like this has happened. He gets super frustrated and goes on a cleaning streak and i've found my stuff in the garbage before. But he's not mean to me on the regular or anything. It's more like he doesn't have the proper mental ability to bring stuff up to me in a proper way. (last time he threw my stuff out it was maybe 2 years ago. He was cleaning out MY car, which he had been using at the time. I fully admit my car can get messy but it's my fucking car, wtf gives you the right to clean it and throw my shit out?! He could have just put my stuff in a bag but instead he decided what I wanted to keep or not)
He has bipolar and possibly adhd and I allow him a lot of leeway because of it but I'm pretty sick of it. I don't want to break up but he tried counselling before, at my demand, and it didn't change any of his behaviours or give him coping mechanisms. Perhaps we should try couples counselling again?
TLDR my husband got drunk and admitted he threw out two of my house plants. I'm pretty twisted about it.
Submitted October 31, 2021 at 07:12AM by BurritoTheMouse https://ift.tt/3vZJaG0
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