How to get over the feeling of uncomfortableness I (22NB) get when my partner (22M) looks at other women online?

It started way before him and I were even together, the feeling of uncertainty and not being enough; however it only got worse after a recent break up happened between the two of us last year 2020. It’s normal to look at other people in a relationship, I know that to be true. I know it’s also normal to have fantasies about others (even in a committed relationship) and that it doesn’t mean you are going to cheat on your S/O. That being said, I still happen to feel uncomfortable when my partner does look at women online, which makes me feel like a crazy person. The breakup reopened a lot of wounds that were beginning to heal, a lot of feelings of doubt and insecurities..a lot of “what if” anxiety questions. The what if questions typically go like: “does he find me attractive still?” “do I make him hard?” “does he enjoy having sex with me” “does he think about other people while we have sex?” etc I communicate these questions to him and he tells me how he truly feels, denying all of my anxious thoughts and telling me how much he loves and cares for me. Yet, I still feel like i’m not good enough.

I started antidepressants a while ago and they have been helping (sometimes i get bad days but that’s normal in life) they also have been increasing my libido and I crave more intimacy and sex now and days. Knowing he looks at other women in his spare time but we don’t necessarily have sex or even tease foreplay with each other as often anymore also makes me a bit insecure. I try to count in the fact that people are different and his libido probably isn’t as high as mine, but then I see the things he looks at and I wonder if maybe it’s something wrong with me instead. Maybe I just can’t turn him on the way the fantasies he creates can. I even started searching on why I want intimacy so bad and if it’s linked to trauma lmao

I want to know from other people, have you ever felt this way towards your partner when it comes to the subject of “looking”?? If so, how did you handle the feelings of doubt and insecurities? I want what’s best for my relationship and even though this stump doesn’t bother him entirely, it bothers me that i’m bothered by something so human, and innocent.

Tl;dr: Explaining how my partner looking at women make me insecure, and our lack of sexual activity makes me feel I am not attractive and insecure as well. How to get over the feeling of insecurities over something that is apart of human nature?

Submitted October 26, 2021 at 04:35AM by pocketknifepup https://ift.tt/30Tq4WE