I’m purchasing my first home — it‘s stressful for sure. My budget limited so my options have been pretty sparse as far as condition and location of the home. I’ve been searching for about six months and have viewed about 12 properties. So far nothing has caught my eye.
My mom is really.... caring, to the point of being overbearing. She’s has an opinion on everything and doesn’t mind expressing it, tells me when I should and shouldn’t speak, tells me after the fact if I said something stupid, will call me ridiculous for nixing a house with serious foundation issues, she just expresses her opinion on everything and never asks me what I liked about a house or even thought of it — just tells me if I should or shouldn’t put an offer in.
I took her to two viewings and then stopped inviting her. She never asks about my house hunt — if she does, it’s only to say I should do this or that thing (like save for another two years or find someone further away, or somewhere with land or she’ll double back and say I should look for a condo somewhere in the city). It is just exhausting. I’ve stopped talking to her about any of it. I explained why I stopped inviting her and she tells me I’m overreacting.
I have a few viewings lined up with a friend of mine, who is a broker. The houses aren’t listed publicly and they’re also what I’m looking for. I’m really excited. I was talking to my sibling about it and my mom overheard — she told me she could come along and see them with me, but I told her I would be fine going alone.
She’s actually angry at me and refuses to acknowledge me at all now.
This isn’t unlike her. It’s just fascinating how much she’s dug her heels in on this particular issue.
I’ve explained to her why I don’t like her joining me — I’ve been straight up with her: “I don’t like how you treat me during the showings“ “I value your input but you aren’t the one purchasing the house, it’s up to me to make the final decisions” “If you would like to come along I would love to have you, but you’ve overstepped my boundaries in the past. I would be more than happy to share some photos or videos with you after the showing to show you what I liked and didn’t like about the house.”
I don’t know if my boundaries are strong enough or if I’m not communicating well. If she were helping me out financially I would understand why she’d be annoyed, but she isn’t helping me. Is there a way I can be more straight up with her?
TL;DR: my mom is always overbearing when I take her to showings for houses I’m considering purchasing. She hasn’t talked to me for almost a week because I won’t let her come with me to the next round of hopeful houses. I’ve tried to explain why she makes me uncomfortable but she won’t change.
Submitted October 28, 2021 at 12:45PM by Ok_Dragonfruit_1492 https://ift.tt/2ZCZ2T2
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