Hello. Throwaway because main is defining and all that.
Some background i (22f) have been dating my bf (m23) for about five months now. Things started out really good, we mostly just talked and played video games, and I thought he was a nice guy. He was very chill, and we mostly would just talk about life.
However, last month he and my friends got into a big argument, where the resolution is that they never want to interact with him again. This makes it awkward, because I do share an apartment with 2/3 of the people who issued that ultimatum. To be completely fair, my boyfriend was in the wrong. I feel like if anyone else had said the things that he said, I would have not remained friends.
Then, it turns out that he has a bit of a temper and refuses to take medication relating to his anxiety. It stresses me out that he doesn't see anyone about it. He is almost against it. He says he'll do it if he has time. He most certainly does. He also doesn't like my psychiatrist for some reason.
He also does a lot of PDA, which does make me kinda uncomfy. I don't like attention being drawn to me. He'll stop when I ask and all that, but I just don't like it. His love language is touch, so I get that sorta. On that note, he is very horny. I have only dated women, so I don't know if this is normal for men. But every time he is around me he pops a boner and wants to play with my boobs. The other day he asked me to cover up more when I was talking to him so he could pay attention to me. Is this normal? I don't mind sex at all, but my sex drive is just a lot lower.
The other day we got into an argument over something kinda possessive he said. I was so angry that I basically said I was breaking up with him. He started crying and it was hard to see him like that. So I kept with him. He has also said that his mental health has gotten better since we have started dating.
In addition, I have been getting jealous when I see other couples on Snapchat and Instagram. They can be around their friends together, all that. They go places together often. We don't do that (partly because we're both poor). I want to, but it's always a hassle with him.
This was not the person I saw when we started being friends over a year ago. It was not the person that I saw when we first started dating. It's just really difficult. I have a sorta big event planned for him in a couple weeks that I spent a considerable sum of my (small) paycheck on. I don't want to like.. cancel it, since it's non refundable.
Then, there are so many times, namely when we are alone together and we just get to talk, where I do realize why I fell in love with him. He makes good jokes, he is helpful and kind, he makes me feel good about myself. So I don't know what to do.
For reference, I also have a personality disorder that makes it hard to know how I really feel about people
I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: my bf is upsetting me but also I still really like him, and I don't know what to do.
Submitted October 30, 2021 at 11:44PM by lillymay-throwaway https://ift.tt/3CDKmBK
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