My (25F) partner can't shift that she thinks I (25M) might be gay even though I've reassured her it's not the case (1.6 years).

The title is a little confusing but I'll get there.

So for a long time I've been identifying as Bi, way before any partner. I've had 4 female partners, including my current partner.

My friends know, all partners have known before we got together and they've been alright with it and I've always not thought about it.

Recently though, an old issue of mine has become more apparent (affected all relationships and sexual encounters) which is where I've struggled "downstairs" to get and maintain. We're talking well over 4 years dealing with this but it was only my current partner where I felt comfortable to go see my doctor.

He referred me on for a Urology appointment so that has been getting closer and closer. This has meant I've been thinking more and more and essentially started to think "Am I Gay?". Its not the first time its come up but I've always denied it because I can be intimate and be attracted to females and males (the problem happens regardless of male or female and even on my own). I don't watch Porn and hardly masturbate.

I decided that I needed a man to man conversation and consulted in my (straight) friend. Where he mentioned that do I love her and do I see a future, both of which I never hesitated to agree and say yes.

On Thursday I got a new job offer but also to add to this, she found the messages. I clearly stated in the messages I love her and see a future but she's now set on thinking I think of men when together or intimate. I've tried to reassure get but she won't have it.

I did say in the messages I've been thinking more and more of men but never said when intimate or getting close as I don't.

It's now caused a pretty big wedge in the relationship and I don't know how to fix it.

I argued that it eased just a passing thought and I was simply overthinking. She argues that it's not an overnight thing.

Now, she's upset I didn't come to her and my reason was simply because I knew this wasn't anything to worry about and would pass, not that I wanted to talk to someone Male.

We "sorted it" last night but its now come back again along with other issues. I feel ultimately more bad because I have friends who know about my sexuality situation and she has no one.

I feel something small and meaningless has turned into something massive and made us awkward together, not just that shouting and arguing.

What can I do?

TL;DR My partner has started to think that I think about men when intimate, close or together when this is simply not true, even when reassuring her. Its ultimately broke us as a couple and she doesn't feel she can move from this even though I never worded it the way she's intended or reassured her.

Submitted November 01, 2020 at 06:50PM by WhaleTrain https://ift.tt/2TL1SPl