Is it reasonable for my (34f) husband (35m) to use me as a "motivational tool" to get him going in the morning?

We've been married for 2 years but I'm already frustrated.

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When we got married he had a job with a fairly long commute. I work from home. I was used to having the whole day to myself.

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For the past year he's worked from home. The issue is he also has ADHD and insists he cannot do anything unless I'm there. So for example, he needs me there to GET him out of bed (pull the covers off, run a bath for him, turn the lights on). He also needs me to come in after a certain amount of time and sit with him to prompt him to put his phone down and get busy bathing/shaving so he can get out. Then it's time for us both to start work...and I sit with him and he'll work.

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I know this sounds ridiculous but it's true. And for the most part it doesn't bother me too much (although I do find it kind of irritating). When he worked out of the house, I helped him then too but for some reason it was easier...he had limited time to get ready and had to hustle, and then he was gone and not my problem anymore lol.

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What's happening is that I've been furloughed for the past 5 months, so I don't work-from-home during the day. So there are other things I'd like to go out and do, but then he struggles. The other day I woke him up and then left, and when I came back 6 hours later he was still in bed.

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Tomorrow I was looking forward to sleeping in. But he tells me he has a big project and needs me to get up and get him ready early. I told him I don't want that role, and he said that's one of the things he really needs from his life partner.

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I'm so conflicted. This "problem" he has (and I'm not necessarily attributing it to ADHD...I honestly don't know what it is) is very real. It's also depression I guess. He's on medication, etc. And before he was with me, he's always been with someone...he's never single for long, so I guess he's always had a taskmaster to get him going. But on the other hand, I don't want to be the person who he uses as a crutch (for lack of a better word?) to get him going/keep him on track.

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Is that unfair of me? Is that what marriage is? Does he need therapy or do I?

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tldr: my husband expects me to get him going in the morning and I honestly am over it.

Submitted March 20, 2021 at 05:26PM by Guilty_Citron3741 https://ift.tt/3vOoe4j