I'm a 23 M, and I have this 20 female friend. She suffers from severe mental illnesses, ranging from anxiety to the point of paranoia, depression, self esteem issues, self injurious behavior, bipolar disorder, body dysmorphia, and everything else in the book. She once freaked out at a party, and I tried to comfort her by giving her my jacket, and trying to talk her through why she feels this way. We aren't really close, but she later told me she appreciated that. That incident inspired me to write something about beauty and fragility, which becomes kinda relevant later.
She then started sharing random information out of nowhere, such as the fact that she hooked up with somebody, and texting me things without context. One example is when she asked me if I had this very specific tool. This is strange because she knows I live far away from her. Another example is when she revealed to me that she is a lesbian after her boyfriend broke up with her, but after they got back together she still insists that she is a lesbian. And I didn't want to let her know that these behaviors made me confused and uncomfortable, because of how fragile she is.
She hung out with me while I was going through a breakup, and I appreciated the company. It was strange though, because she barely said a word throughout. This was usually how our hangouts went, as she usually initiated, but she didn't seem like she wanted to be there. And all this culminated in her texting me at around 10pm that she was not okay. I asked if she needed me to come, and she said yes. She asked me to bring gauze, but quickly unsent it. When I got there, she was clutching her belly, but I didn't notice any blood anywhere. She was dead silent, so I tried to act as if things were normal, and asked if she wanted to go to a night mall area which she agreed to. But she wouldn't talk to me at all.
I mentioned that I saw the comment about gauze, and I asked if she was okay, but she wouldn't speak. Eventually I asked if she needed to go to CVS, and she said yes, and that she needed me to pay bc she didn't have her wallet. I paid, because I wasn't about to leave my friend bleeding out, but she hasn't repaid the $30 I spent, even though I asked her I'd prefer if she did. I drove her around the city, but she wouldn't speak to me at all, so I showed her the piece that I wrote about her. I then played her some songs that I like in an attempt to cheer her up, some of which were love songs. She then said she wants to go home, and so I drove her back.
Lately she hasn't been talking to me, and it seems like she doesn't like me anymore. I hung out with her and a couple other people, and she didn't want to talk to me at all.
How should I have handled this situation? I've never had to help somebody who was self harming, and the fact that she refused to open up to me, yet she simultaneously trusted me enough to contact me in this situation was incredibly confusing to me. To be honest, I don't feel incredibly close to her, and I suspect she feels the same way. But she seems to be wanting to force some sort of friendship to happen, and I didn't want to just leave her hanging in a time of need. I don't think I want to be friends with her, because she gives me so much anxiety.
TLDR: I have a female friend who tried to be close too fast, and it culminated in her asking me for help during a mental health crisis. Now she won't talk to me.
Submitted March 20, 2021 at 02:43AM by jmanthetan https://ift.tt/3cUGP62
No comments:
Post a Comment