We have amazing chemistry and get along really well, but my [31/F] hand tremor makes him [35/M] "uncomfortable". Should I continue seeing him?

Hi everyone,

I met a guy on Bumble a few weeks ago. We had great conversational chemistry over texting and the phone. Meeting up was difficult because our state is currently in lockdown due to a surge in covid cases. I am immunocompromised because I have lupus, which made the situation more difficult. I disclosed via text message that I have lupus and a hand tremor. He said he was fine with these things. I decided to take a risk and go to his house for dinner.

We had dinner and watched a movie at his house, and later made out on the couch. We had great conversational chemistry, and we seemed to get along really well. He was funny and kind. He said he liked me too and that so far, I was everything he was looking for in a woman.

The next day, he messaged me to organise another dinner, although did say that he still had a lot to learn about my tremors. I asked him what bothered him. He said they didn't bother him, but he just wanted to understand them, and the things I can and can't do. I answered all of his questions as honestly as I could.

We met for dinner again. I checked in with him about my tremors, and he said I had answered all of his questions. We had an amazing time. I said I wanted to wait to have sex until we were exclusive, and he said he was fine with that. He also said that he does not intend to see other girls until he knows whether things are going to work out between us. We were intimate in other ways and I stayed the night.

I asked him what his long-term relationship goals were in relation to kids and marriage. He said he wants kids. He also told me that he is currently still married, but separated. They formally separated four months ago, and intend to divorce once they are legally allowed to. I asked whether he is ready to move on. He said he is because she checked out of the relationship 1-2 years ago. Apparently they were rarely home at the same time and she was never affectionate. I'm fine with this.

I asked him why he was struggling to make eye contact on our date. He said he didn't want to look at me while I was eating because he thought it may make me uncomfortable because of my tremor. I asked him if my tremor bothered him.

He said he had an amazing time, but he is conflicted. He said I am everything he is looking for in a woman - in his words - open, honest, emotionally intelligent, career-focused, independent and kind. He also commented that I was beautiful and had an amazing body.

He said, however, that he is very uncomfortable with my tremors because he has no experience with them and he has never seen a tremor before. He said he doesn't know when to help me. I told him that I will tell him if I need help.

I said the only way my tremors will affect him is how they appear to his eye, how they feel on his skin, and what other people think of me/us because I am self-sufficient and have found ways to adapt. He didn't really comment. I said I didn't know what to do or say because they're part of me and I can't change them. He said he knows that, but he can't change how he feels about them either. He said he feels like a jerk saying that, but he doesn't know what else to say. He said he wanted to be honest with me about how he was feeling.

Regardless, he said given our chemistry, how well we get along, and the fact that I am the "full package" and "perfect", he would like to spend more time together to see if he can become more comfortable with them. He also said he has multiple medical conditions, but he doesn't feel comfortable disclosing them yet. I'm not bothered because I work in healthcare and I'm familiar with health problems. I became teary at the end of our conversation and said I had to go. I haven't heard from him since.

There was another comment that caught me off guard. I showed him a photo of what I looked like before I got sick. He said, "WOW! You were a bombshell! You were totally out of my league. At least now I have a chance with you." He said he was joking.

I'm interested in everyone's thoughts on whether I should pursue a third date. I feel like such an idiot for being intimate with him.

Thank you!

tl;dr He thinks I'm the full package with the exception of my tremor. I don't know what to do.

Submitted October 21, 2021 at 07:53AM by AccomplishedTime5451 https://ift.tt/3bePmAJ