Should I (43f) tell my best friends husband (43m) that his wife (40f) is having an emotional affair and is planning to get a hotel with another man(59m) the first night of our trip instead of meet me that night.

My best friend (40f) and I (43f) have a girls weekend planned at the end of the month. I need advice.

We’ve been close/best friends for 15+ years. We don’t live in the same state and for the last several years we get together 2-3 times a year for girls weekends.

Her husband has always been someone I respect and appreciate. He’s good to her. They have kids and it’s hard to see her making choices that are going to hurt him and result in potentially losing her marriage. Her husband doesn’t meet her emotional needs and their physical relationship has always been unsatisfying to her (summary from years of our conversations about it). He’s a good person though and doesn’t deserve to be deceived or hurt.

She had an emotional affair for about 8 mos and kissed and messed around with this same person a few times last year (didn’t have sex). He didn’t have money and she has a lot of money. Her husband caught her, she told him she’d stop seeing/talking to the guy… she cut back on the relationship but continued lying and continued the emotional affair with this other man for several more months.

Her husband has forgiven her and he’s been committed to trying to work it out. Some days she really wants to work it out and other days she wants to have the other “friendship” and feels like she can’t live without it.

Recently she told me she had cut that friendship off, but there is someone else in the picture now. She’s taken this new relationship emotionally and physically farther, faster. He’s an older man- late 50s and she’s almost 40, and he has a lot of money. She says she can see herself with him long term.

She and I are meeting up at the end of the month for a girls weekend and she just let me know that instead of meeting me Thursday, she is meeting me Friday morning and she is going to meet this guy on Thursday and they’ve got a hotel that night. She told me her husband won’t think anything of it because he knows she’s meeting up with me.

Lots of mixed thoughts and feelings. I want to cancel the trip. I want to tell her husband. I want to tell her not to do what she’s doing (I’ve told her for the past year she’s making decisions that she will regret if/when she loses her marriage and she can’t hear/chooses not to listen).

I care about her. I love our friendship. I also feel used. I feel like she is ruining her life and her husbands life, and her choices will hurt her kids too. I also feel like canceling the trip, telling her husband, or confronting her about what she’s doing could end/damage our friendship beyond repair.

Any suggestions/advice on how to handle this? Should I tell her husband her plan? If so, what’s the best way to do that? Should I cancel the trip and just withdraw myself from the friendship until things change?

TL;DR: my best friend (40f) is getting a hotel w an older man (59m) she’s having an emotional affair with the first night we are supposed to meet for a girls weekend. Her husband doesn’t know about this guy. Should I (43f) tell her husband (44m)?

Submitted October 10, 2021 at 09:56PM by snoozenonsaturdays https://ift.tt/3FzB0IU