I’ve [31m] been trying to find a LTR partner for nearly a year and it’s been disastrous and frustrating. What am I doing wrong?

So I’ve been trying to give dating for a LTR an honest shot for nearly a year and holy shit I feel exhausted and frustrated.

I’m an immigrant originally on a work visa, so no social circle from high school/university/family. I have gone out with friends from work and it’s been fun but it hasn’t led to meeting romantic partners through them (not that I was “using” them for that purpose either, but I did expect that widening my social circle would at least offer some opportunities).

So at some point I figured online dating was the best shot and gave it a try, with mixed to bad results. Most times, we have nothing significant in common and even if there’s sex or some semblance of intimacy, it quickly fades away after it’s clear that we really have nothing to talk about.

Later I started focusing on women who at least also valued physical activity like me, and kinda ended up with a few “gym dudebro” equivalents with whom again I had nothing in common with in terms of building a relationship, so that was a failure, too.

So at first I was making the mistake of just going for pretty women, then kinda went too strong on the physically active side, and some women who were somewhere in between. In total it’s been about 16 women, most of which went nowhere immediately and the rest just fizzled out shortly after.

I’ve certainly had fun and enjoyed their company and like to believe at least some enjoyed mine, some were very sweet and feels like a shame it didn’t work but ultimately it comes down to not really having much in common when it comes to overall long-term goals and expectations for a relationship.

Ideally, it’d be someone career-driven with her shit together not playing any bullshit text-you-in-48-hours games and who at least has some semblance of a plan for her life. I try my best to bring exactly that to a relationship.

So, in summary, I don’t have that wide or deep a social circle and went strong into online dating, with pretty bad and cumulatively infuriating results. Right now I haven’t actively looked for dates in nearly two months and feels like going back to online dating would be the same shit again and that’s really demoralizing.

The last 31 years have shown that waiting for a relationship to fall in my lap doesn’t work, but actively trying hasn’t worked either so I feel like I’ve tried everything I can and it hasn’t worked.

What am I doing wrong and how can I improve things?

tl;dr: Been dating online for nearly a year with bad results. I’m feeling really frustrated and out of options. What am I doing wrong and how to improve things?

Submitted October 03, 2021 at 05:40PM by Away_Twist3078 https://ift.tt/3Ffe2H2