is crying in front of someone manipulative?

my romantic partner(21F) tells me(21F) that crying in front of her is manipulative, as it makes it so that she is the asshole and puts her in the position of being the one in the wrong. she says that when someone cries, it implies that they have been wronged and deserve an apology. from my perspective, i just cry because i am sad or triggered, and this only says something about how i am feeling inside, and it does not necessarily mean that anyone in the situation is right or wrong. i could be crying about literally anything, and it might have very little to do with her. sometimes it is even because i feel remorseful about something that i have done wrong, like not being a good listener and being too defensive. sometimes it is hard to hear the ways that you are not meeting your partner’s needs, and i do have a tendency to be hard on myself anyways. sometimes i cry when i am being vulnerable. heck sometimes i even cry because she is sad and hurting and it makes me sad for her. & of course, sometimes i do cry after she has said something mean or crossed a line. i know i am a sensitive person. also, i am not talking about sobbing here (that happens on rare occasions and is usually because i am having a panic attack, as i have ptsd), i am just talking about some tears being shed. i understand that she may feel that crying is manipulative, but she says that it is an objective fact. is crying in front of someone objectively manipulative? if so, should i leave the room when i begin to feel emotional? i think crying and being vulnerable is healthy. i am not even sure how i would have difficult, emotional conversations with her, because like i said, i am sensitive, and i do cry.

tl;dr: my partner says that it is an objective fact that crying in front of someone is manipulative. i disagree, and i think crying can be a healthy and harmless way to express & release emotion. crying = some tears being shed, not hysterical sobbing

Submitted October 08, 2021 at 06:13PM by painNjoysoup https://ift.tt/305dCmh