My (26f) stepdad (59m) is turning 60 next month. He wanted to have a huge celebration with his family and friends, but can’t because of the pandemic.
My step-dad has been a raging alcoholic for decades, and since I was 11 or 12, he has been ruining dinners and vacations with his drinking (on top of other traumatic events.)
His daughter/my step-sister (25f) wanted to do something to still make the big event special, so she sent a message to the whole family asking for a video of a happy memory we have with my step-dad. She didn’t tell anyone she decided to do this until we all got the message.
I have a very complicated relationship with my step-dad because of the years of drinking. Due to a lot of trauma, I can’t remember huge chunks of my childhood. I only have neutral or negative memories of my step-dad, and this ask is causing me to have panic attacks because I can’t think of any memories to share.
I told my mom that I can’t make the video, but I don’t know how to tell my step-sister. She and I have never directly talked about the alcoholism, and I’m afraid she’s going to think I’m being difficult and this will start a huge fight and hurt my step-dads feelings. I don’t know if this is the right fight to pick or if I should just get over it and make a video.
TL;DR: I don’t have fond memories of my step-dad so I don’t think I should participate in his birthday event
Submitted October 23, 2021 at 10:33PM by throwawaystepkid69 https://ift.tt/3m6Nq3l
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