I always feel as though my boyfriend gets mad at me when I’m not happy. I could be a little irritated, or feeling sickly or tired, and he’ll be so frustrated and upset about it. It happens every single time I’m sad or just down in the dumps.
I’ve been off lately just thinking about everything. I currently have a lot on my plate, so much that it’s falling over the sides and there’s not much I can do about it at the moment so getting a bit overwhelmed. Usually I do a good job at hiding it, mostly cause I’m also hiding it from myself. I will distract myself so hard that I can completely forget about it and blank out.
Literally 10 mins ago just got myself together from crying so hard because my boyfriend was so irritated that he came home to me being in a bad mood. Told me he just had a long day and wants to come home to us being happy and not stressing about anything but instead he comes home to me “in a mood” and not talking. He went off on me for about 45 mins because he’s so confused why I haven’t said anything, why I don’t wanna go anywhere, why I’m being like this. Brought up a bunch of other random stuff like my current situation, and my eating problems and I can’t help but feel like he did it to just kick me when I’m down. Then stomps to one side of the room, throws himself on the chair like a kid having a tantrum and says sorry in such an irritated tone that I don’t even know if he’s being sarcastic or not. The kind of sorry you get from someone who doesn’t think they’ve done anything wrong and is only saying sorry because someone told them to. Whole time I’m sitting in heartbreaking disbelief. I thought since he knows what I’m going through right now he’d be a little bit more understanding and comforting. I always try to communicate my feelings to him super calm when I’ve stopped crying but I feel like that makes him more irritated bc he’ll just cut me off or start shaking his leg really fast or breath out really loudly. He kept whispering underneath his breath about how I’m wasting his time.
I hate that I was so upset at his reaction that most of the things he says went out my head. I’ve been struggling with anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember. He’s never experienced any of that so I try to educate him about mine as much as possible but no matter how in depth I express my feelings and why I feel that way, he always gets upset because I’m being to sensitive and need to grow up mentally and get thicker skin. If I’m having a little anxiety attack while we’re out bc of whatever reason he will get so irritated, let go of my hand, and storm off. Then that heightens all of those feelings because now I’m left with no one.
I’ll admit, I’m not the best person ever who does no wrong but I always feel like I’m on eggshells when I’m around him, I feel like I can’t let my face show how I’m feeling because he’ll get upset. I really wish I knew why he gets like this, maybe I’m just much more than he bargained for. I’m trying to work on it as much as possible to keep him from being so upset but it’s hard to do it alone. Okay rant over.
tl;dr my boyfriend gets mad at me when I’m sad and I don’t understand why.
Submitted October 23, 2021 at 08:06PM by moodymi https://ift.tt/3jwJSWo
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