GF often says hurtful things but says she doesn’t remember them

We are both in our late 20s, know each other for a year and a half.

Overall lm quite happy with the relationship, however one thing really started to bother me, and that is that my GF often tells jokes, or words things, in such a way that I feel uneasy or sometimes even hurt. It happens regularly.

For example, she said: I went to a party last week, there were a lot of good looking people there and a lot of fun. I would say: in that case I wish I was there, and she would reply: of course you didn’t make it - only attractive people were there.

This was supposed to be a joke.

On multiple occasions she compared me to her ex whenever I didn’t feel like dancing at a party. When confronted she didn’t remember she did.

On some occasions when I was trying to initiate sex, and she didn’t feel like, instead of saying she doesn’t feel like it, she says: I don’t want to get into this bothersome mess right now (meaning sex with me)

Another example. once she told me that she only likes ugly guys, and in fact she prefers unattractive men because she would rather focus on the personality. There was no context to that, she just started telling me this in private.

Which is highly insensitive. Isn’t it? After bringing it up to her she said she just wanted to say she likes my personality - but what is this other stuff about looks about? What’s the point of bringing it up?

After confronting her about it she always says that she didn’t mean it that way. And I understand a badly worded thing happening once or twice. But it’s a pattern now. Where whenever she says something hurtful or insensitive she always says she doesn’t remember it - even if I bring it up 5 mins after she said it.

It messes with my mind - not the hurtful stuff - but her saying she doesn’t remember. After a long discussion where I try to explain to her that she did in fact say it, and how it made me feel, she just says it’s a mistake, badly worded, and that she meant the opposite of what was said. It’s really frustrating and it keeps happening again and again. I really don’t know what to do.

TL:DR: GF says hurtful things, then pretends she doesn’t remember saying them, then saying they meant the opposite of what she said because she worded them incorrectly. When she says she would be more considerate of what she says, she continues to blurt out weird or hurtful things again and again.

Submitted October 11, 2021 at 06:01AM by Common-Toe-5510 https://ift.tt/2YBGQZS