Recently learned from my (23F-asian) boyfriend (28M-white) that his mother is an extreme case of a racist, who hates me because of my looks, cultural background, behavior. He is my first boyfriend and first sexual partner, and he has a child from ex-wife.

Me (23F) and my boyfriend (28M) reached a critical level where I need to decide if I should be with him or leave for good. We both work in IT and I am pretty successful in what I do. We dated for a year, and he wants to marry me.

Context: I am asian and he is white. He is my very first boyfriend and first sexual partner, and we love each other. But he recently told me that his mother is a racist, who hates my "small" eyes, asian looks, and basically everything everything that makes me what I am, and I consider myself a good person. He also previously told me that he has a child with his ex-wife, and needed to get a divorce due to her ex-wife cheating on him. He did not tell me at the start of our relationship because he was afraid I would leave him. He pays alimony for his child (25%) and sees him once a year. My heart was broken when I learned that his mother hates me so much for being non-white, especially since I met his parents and I thought we had a good time. My boyfriend tells me that he loves me and ready to cut ties with his parents for me and also marry me, but wants to see his child once a year. Basically, he is a good person, who was cheated on and has racist parents.

My parents and older brother truly love me and want the best for me. After telling them what happened, and they told me to end the relationship and not be with him. As my brother puts it: "he is a pile of problems and you can do better than him, even if he is a decent person." They also told me that I am being guided by emotions only, and not viewing the situation rationally, especially since he is my very first lover and boyfriend. They also tell me that no person can fully abandon their own mother, and child will be a source a host of other unnecessary issues, despite the child's innocence. Basically, they tell me that I deserve better. I want to be with him, but I am afraid that it is only because I had no experience of being in a relationship and having sex partner before.

I do not know what to do. Should I listen to my parents and brother?

TL;DR! my (23F) very first boyfriend's (28M) mother is a racist, and he has a child with ex-wife.

Submitted July 02, 2021 at 03:17PM by SentenceDue518 https://ift.tt/3qIXH6s