My [28F] best friend [28F] is jealous of my boyfriend [31M]. It's putting a wedge in our friendship and I don't know how to fix it.

Okay, long story, but here goes,

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My friend "Bry" and I have been very close since high school, a little over a decade now. She is really like a sister to me and I love her dearly. We have always done things together, cried on each other's shoulder, commiserated about the dating life, etc. etc.

A little over a year ago I was at the end of a horribly abusive relationship. The details are not too important, just that I was kind of a mess and Bry dropped everything to help me out, to the detriment I found out of some of her own things she was doing. She helped me really get back on my feet and get my life somewhere close to back on on track.

Anyway, about two months ago I started seeing a new guy. He has really been a breath of fresh air. Perfectly respectful, kind, handsome, the works. Around a month and a half ago we were getting pretty serious and he introduced me to his friends and used the word "together", so I figured it was probably time for me to do the same.

Some time shortly before we were due to go do something with my friends I mentioned their names and he picked up on "Bry". He asked me if she was "Bry [lastname] and I said yes, and he mentioned they had met on a dating app like a year prior and gone on a couple dates. Perils of dating in a smaller town I guess.

I asked him if it would be awkward and he said it wouldn't bother him any, and gave me his version of events which was just that they went on a couple dates, she seemed to lose interest, and he moved on. There was no bad experience as far as he knew and he didn't see a reason for it to be a problem.

Just to be sure of course I went to Bry with a picture of him (she knew I was dating but I guess hadn't picked up on boyfriend's rather common first name) and told her what he had said. She recognized him right away and confirmed, they had gone on a couple dates a little over a year ago, but then I had my stuff with my shitty ex happen and she just kind of dropped everything including dating for a little bit to help me out. I asked her if it was going to be a weird thing for her, but she told me she was fine and it wouldn't be a big deal.

So, boyfriend came out with my friends and I and it seemed like it went fine. Most of my friends loved him, but it was a little awkward when he met Bry. They were friendly and everything, just didn't engage much directly. I figured it was just the surprise of running into each other again and it would be fine once they got over it.

After the night I asked Bri if everything was okay, and she told me she was fine, just a little surprised at the coincidence. But, it hasn't worked out that way. I've been inviting boyfriend to a bunch of stuff with my friends and they all really like him, but Bry just won't talk to him beyond a short "hello."

And she has been getting distant with me, too. I've noticed she has stopped inviting me to stuff, even just one-on-one. When I try inviting her, she usually just gives me a really curt "I'm busy" message.

I finally got a little fed up with it last night and went over to her place, and I just told her "Hey, you're obviously upset with me about something, can we just hash it out so we can be cool again?"

And she just told me directly "Alright, I'm jealous of you." That seemed to unleash the flood gates and she just kinda opened up and let it all out. "Straight up, I'm jealous of you and [boyfriend]." She explained her own version of their history which was, they went on a couple dates, had sex a couple times, she was really digging him and getting close to asking him to be her boyfriend, but then my thing with the ex came up so she let it go to help me out. And she told me "I want to be happy for you, and he is good to you and you deserve it, but honestly I am just kind of pissed off I had a shot with him and missed it to take care of you, and now you're just out having a great time with him."

I really felt like shit after she told me that and I asked her how we can fix this and she told me she just didn't know. She told me she didn't want to hurt the relationship I had with boyfriend because it does seem really healthy and she is actually happy to see me doing well, but she is also just pissed off, and she knows it is irrational and petty but she can't really help it.

So, that is where it is. I really don't know what to do. I love my boyfriend and I love my best friend. I want them both to be in my life but I really don't know how to make this right now. And I kinda feel like shit fro what she told me.

So....what do I do? I really want my friend and I to be back on good terms. And I don't want to lose my boyfriend, who is the first genuinely good man I have dated in a long, long time. How do I fix this?

TL;DR: Started dating a guy who had previously been on a couple dates with my best friend. She is jealous of it now and doesn't know how to make it right. Feel like I'm living in a soap opera. What do I do?

Submitted July 26, 2021 at 05:06PM by Accomplished_Fan3018 https://ift.tt/2WeuRQ7