My [23M] girlfriend [23F] is upset that I didn’t tell her a secret I was explicitly asked not to share with her

For context, my girlfriend and I have been together about 2 and a half years and currently share an apartment together. Issues with trust have been a reoccurring theme in our relationship, partially due to some of her experiences in prior relationships, and partially due to some mistakes I made in the first couple of months we were dating.

Last weekend I went home to visit my parents. While there they informed me that they had started going to couple’s therapy. They wanted to keep it private and asked me not to tell anyone, including my girlfriend. The next day, I was back at our apartment and my mom texted me a follow up mentioning the therapy while I happened to be showing my girlfriend something on my phone. She asked what my mom was talking about and I told her the context and how I was asked not to share.

This has sparked a whole debate between us. She feels betrayed that I didn’t tell her. Her perspective is as partners who talk about marriage one day, there should be no secrets between us. She said she has told me things even when asked not to because I’m her number one and she holds me above all others. My perspective is that it was my parents’ personal business and I was trying to be respectful of their wishes. I’ve certainly told her things before from my friends that I was asked to keep a secret, but coming from my parents I chose to try to honor their wishes.

At this point we’ve both said everything we need to say on the matter and realize that it comes down to us choosing to make different decisions given the same set of facts or circumstances. She says she would have told me regardless if the roles were reversed. My reaction was obviously not to tell her.

I guess at this point I’m just looking for advice on how to navigate the situation moving forward. I don’t think it’s a matter of who is right or wrong, it’s just a difference of opinion. I think she is feeling hurt by the realization that we would not have reacted in the same way, and it is causing her to have some doubts about our long term relationship. She says that if two people are to get married, they should function as one unit, and would make the same decisions as one another. She also feels as if she’s not my “number one” because I chose to honor my parents’ secret and therefore put them ahead of her. My feelings are that of course she’s still my number one and I don’t have any doubts about that or our relationship. I just want to move on but I don’t know what else I can do to ease her doubts.

TL;DR I didn’t tell my girlfriend about my parents’ couples therapy and now she is having doubts about our relationship’s future as a result.

Submitted July 31, 2021 at 06:20AM by throwayaway9 https://ift.tt/3rLjgUj