Abby is a big extrovert. I'm a big introvert.
Actually, we both really like going on adventures. Exploring new cities, tasting new food together...
But i have a limit. And from monday to saturday, i'm usually at my limit. I spend 6 days, 12 hours working. When i get home, i have around 4-5 hours left for myself. But i'm so done with the day that all i can do is to take care of my cats, clean the house and lay down to watch some shows. I don't get very tired at work, but i don't feel comfortable being outside at that point. After work; i'm mentally, physically DONE. And Abby knows it very, very well.
Abby meets up with 2-3 people a day. (Social distancing my ass, ikr) I admire her energy levels but honestly i could never be as social as she is.
I don't meet up with my friends very often. They also have busy lives so we meet up maybe once in every two months.
With Abby, we meet up at least twice a week. And with my busy work schedule, meeting up with her means i'm actually procrastinating on houseworks and other chores. Then i have to do all of them on my only day off, Sunday.
Still, she had been going through tough times and i wanted to be there for her. And so i've been. I've really pushed my limits. She knows it.
2 weeks ago, i've started fostering a sick kitten and she required care and time to heal. Now she's healed up but she's very little and requires all of my affection when i get home.
In these 2 weeks, Abby and i met up 3 times, one was a sleepover. And some of those days, i didn't even have the time to call my boyfriend. Still, i didn't want to neglect on her.
Still today, she told me i've been neglecting on her. And i told her the new kitten requires my care, that is why i can't make time for her. She told me that "she got sick of this". Sick of me telling no to her, second time she invited me to meet up, after 3 days of not meeting up. 3 days was all it took for her to get "sick of it".
I was pissed and uncomfortable. But still, i've kept my cool and told her "I don't have the same amount of energy as you do. You know it 😁 How about i come to your place this Sunday? I'll be working on Sunday too this week, but i'll make time for you."
And her answer was: "You'll be caring for the kitten untill Sunday, huh?" (Being sarcastic)
I told her "Yes, and i'll take care of myself too." And she answered: "Yeah, thanks." (Again, sarcastic)
Now i feel like:
1-She doesn't respect my boundaries at all.
2-She is underestimating the work i do, since it is not extremely tiring, physically.
3-Even though she saw me several times losing all of my focus and rushing to get home because i had reached my limit of being outside and i was getting all dizzy and stressful, she doesn't seem to acknowledge any of this.
I really thought she understood me and respected our differences. But isn't she... Shaming me for not being as active and social as her?
I don't want to lose my friend. But i also want her to respect my boundaries. I tend to lose my temper pretty easily and can't think straight when i'm mad, so i ask here before i tell her anything else. How should i confront her about her behavior?
Or am i in the wrong here?
TL&DR: Friend is extrovert, i'm introvert. She wants to meet up every single day and gets mad when i tell her i don't want to. I meet her at least twice a week, despite i work very long hours. I feel uncomfortable with her mean behavior when i tell her no.
Submitted July 26, 2021 at 08:21AM by friendship_sucks https://ift.tt/3f1tZVv
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