My (30F) close friend (37F) is relying on my husband (35M) for emotional support and it's making me uncomfortable.

The other day, my husband and I met our mutual friend at the pool with our daughters. We have known this friend and her husband for the better part of a decade and have all become quite close. About a year ago, she moved out of her home she shared with her husband to escape the marriage, which had turned abusive. I offered a lot of support to her in this time, offering our home to her and her children and helping to put her in touch with many different resources. I also offered my shoulder at any time she needed it and have encouraged her every step of the way. My husband and I have spent a lot of sleepless nights trying to ensure the health and well-being of everyone involved. It is a relief that she has initiated the divorce process and can begin to move on with the life she deserves and we continue to support her.

Recently, she offered to help us with a small errand while we were out of town. My husband met with her to exchange info prior to us leaving town, and it took him about an hour longer than he had planned. He called on his way home to let me know that he was running late as upon his arrival, she began to talk with him about her struggles with the divorce and was sobbing. I didn't think of it at the time, other than to feel badly for her and to make sure I checked in with her.

When she arrived at the pool with her girls, we were applying sunscreen to all the kids. I asked if she wanted help applying hers as she's quite fair skinned and did not have anyone to assist her. She said she did not need help. We all kind of stood awkwardly for a minute, and then I took all the kids with me across the park and into the pool. I noticed after a short time that my husband and friend had not come along. When I looked back to the area they had last been, my husband was applying sunscreen to her. She showed him something on her phone and they stood and talked for about 5 minutes before joining me. Something about it made me feel extremely uncomfortable and I kept to myself for the majority of the day and played with the kids. They both could tell I wasn't up for chat. Today, she's messaged me and asked if I am okay as I didn't seem like myself.

I trust my husband and I also trust my friend. She has never in our friendship done anything to make me feel she is untrustworthy. She struggles with a significant amount of anxiety, and is obviously going through a difficult time, and I have always tried to support her. Likewise, my husband has never done anything to earn distrust. I recognize that my feelings are largely due to some internalized something. But, at the end of the day, I was uncomfortable. I know leaning on someone for emotional support can change the dynamics of a relationship. How can I be honest with my friend about my discomfort while not adding to her distress or making her feel as though I do not trust her?

TL;DR: My friend has been relying on my husband more lately for emotional support and its making me uncomfortable. Is there a way to be honest about my feelings without torpedoing our relationship?

Submitted July 26, 2021 at 09:32AM by holypopamole https://ift.tt/3BIK5NO