My wife and I have been together for almost 7 years, married for almost 4. We don't have the perfect relationship, but I never had any doubts or concerns about infidelity, and I've never felt the need to go through her phone.
A few days ago I used her phone to call mine as I had lost it somewhere in the house. When I unlocked the screen I found messages between her and her ex that immediately made me concerned. I only had to scroll up a little to find even more messages where they talked about how different their lives would have been had they stayed together, how they would always love each other, etc. No messages of a sexual nature or pictures, but enough to make me uncomfortable. I didn't go very deep into the thread, but there were several months of messages. I knew that my wife was still on good terms with her ex and spoke to her occasionally, but this was more than she had ever let on.
I immediately confronted her about it, she admitted that she knew it was wrong and would stop immediately. She told me that she loved me and has a great life with me, but she did feel a special connection with her ex and would always care for her.
When I asked her how long it had been happening, she told me that since they had broken up 9 years ago, they had never really stopped talking.
I am devastated and don't know what to do. I still love my wife, and I don't want to get a divorce, but I'm also having a really hard time processing this information and feeling like I've been living a lie for years. I've told her that we can work this out, but I will need time to come to terms with this and move on, but I don't know how to. We've talked it to death, and I'm really tired of talking about it.
In addition to this, she's been going out of her way to make it up to me, but I don't know how to tell her that her efforts are a bit too much for me right now. She constantly wants to touch me and kiss me, will not stop telling me that she loves me and that I'm beautiful, won't let me do anything for myself, and even has been coming in the shower with me, something I used to ask for a lot that she rarely agrees to.
TLDR: I discovered messages between my wife and her ex. I don't want a divorce, but I don't know how to move past this, and my wife is trying too hard to make it up to me.
Submitted July 29, 2021 at 05:54AM by pmBP18 https://ift.tt/3lbhUkM
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