My boyfriend (of 2 1/2 years) and I went to an event last weekend and we took some pictures. I don't really use social media, so I'm not big on picture posting like that, but he likes posting here & there. He sent me the picture he wanted to post of us to see if I would be okay with it. Mind you, I've seen the original picture already (which I didn't really like because when the pictures were being taken my feet were in a lot of pain from heels so I wasn't posing how I would've liked to). The one he sent was clearly edited. He edited my skin, slimmed my stomach, and even made my lips bigger. I was really hurt by this. I asked him about it, and he apologized and just said that since I didn't like the original photos, he thought if he edited it, that I would like them better. I didn't understand this because, why edit those specific things? Are those parts of me you want to change? Because I didn't ask for that nor did he ask me if he could do that. I understand editing to an extent, especially with lighting and skin texture--but to edit my face and body? I feel like that's going too far and fuels my insecurity.
I just feel really uncomfortable because now I'm wondering if he wants to change the way that I look. He swears up and down that he thinks I'm the most beautiful girl and that the editing was a stupid mistake. The issue is this isn't the first time he's done this. The last time, he edited my butt to look bigger (which naturally already is big) and I told him how that made me feel and he said he wouldn't do it again. I feel like he's putting me in competition with some unrealistic version of myself and it's messing with my self-image, and my confidence in the relationship. I don't want to develop some kind of body dysmorphia where I can't find my unedited self beautiful, which would lead down a whole path of destructiveness. He also has a history of comparing me to other women (Instagram model types/perfect bodies) and sometimes I wonder if he wants me to look more like them. I just don't know if I'm overreacting or if I should be looking at this like a major red flag, and if me feeling this hurt is valid.. because even though him & I have talked about it and he's apologized profusely, I still feel really down about it. Any advice or thoughts would help. Thank you!
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TL;DR; : My boyfriend photoshops my appearance in pictures he posts of us on Instagram and it's damaging my self-esteem.
Submitted July 29, 2021 at 02:13PM by SweetestElixir https://ift.tt/3BYdDXz
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