My boyfriend of 6 years has been living with my kids and me for the last 4 years. I consider the 4 of us to be a family. He started a new job in April and had to start over with earning paid time off (PTO). Due to worldwide events I have come to value vacations, road trips, and traveling in general. I want to take every opportunity to travel with my kids after being denied the opportunity for the last year and half. I understand that my BF will not be able to do a lot of the things I have been planning but he has given me his blessing to take family vacations without him.
The issue is that I have expressed my desire for him to be able to join us for a Christmas trip to somewhere tropical and he has said he wants to however, so far he has scheduled all of his available PTO to use on guys trips without us. He told me today that he has planned another long weekend with the guys. I was exasperated and expressed to him that I wish my kids and I were a priority for using his PTO and vacation time. He said he was tired of my negativity and I told him I was sad that I have been asking him several times for him to tell me the number of how many days he'll have to take a vacation in December and he has not been able to give me a solid answer, just that it probably won't be much and he doesn't know. So I told him that I was hurt that he was able to commit to time off next month for his friends (again) when he could not commit to any time with the family for Christmas vacation.
He said I was being negative and intentionally trying to make him feel guilty. I said I was not trying to make him feel any type of way I was just letting him know I was sad. He then said he would ask off for the first week of the kids Christmas Break but he couldn't make any guarantees. He also said he wasn't sure how much time exactly he even had still left. I requested that he look at his most recent pay stub so he could see how many hours he accumulates per pay period (because he didn't know off the top of his head) and then look at a calendar and then get out a calculator and do the math. He said he would give me the paystub so I could "see for myself" and could figure it out. I told him no, I needed him to be a responsible person and do the math himself and then let me know. He said we could look at it together and do it as a team. Again I declined and told him I did not want to do the emotional labor of figuring out his leave situation on top of planning the vacation. He got mad and left the house and said he was going back in to work to look at his computer and would let me know.
Full transparency: I gave him my blessing for the first two guys trips but got annoyed with the third one because before he actually bought the plane ticket he asked my opinion and my only concern was how this would affect the time he had available for Christmas vacation and he never answered me and then booked the trip anyway.
Reddit, I need advice because I am so close to just booking the trip for the kids and I and providing him with the information and letting him know it's on him to be there or not and he can find his own flight and meet us there if he choses and/or has the time. He says I'm being selfish and should wait until he gets a response from his employer. I know I'm being petty but I'm also just kinda hurt.
TLDR: I feel sad that my BF has not reserved any of his paid time off to vacation with me and has instead chose to use the majority of the time to take weekend trips with friends.
Submitted July 27, 2021 at 06:31PM by ThrowRAtravelfight https://ift.tt/3rC4Upr
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