I (25F) have been with my partner for a little over a year now, we are long-distance for now. We have plans for one of us to relocate next year. We have visits often as our countries haven’t been super strict with covid restrictions.
I am his first partner, in all aspects. He is my second. We have an amazing connection. I love him dearly, when we are together I feel like nothing can touch me. I am safe. Where I belong.
I never thought I would have to worry about things that many women have to worry about with their partner. Namely, infidelity. He just seems so all about me, and loving. He really does care for me deeply.
Until recently, I am on visit in his country right now for 2 more weeks. But when I arrived 2 weeks ago, I got on to my partners PS4 to play a few games to pass the time while he was at work. Well, I got an invite from some girl (I could tell by the name..) and I didn’t think much of it aside from the fact that this must be a new person he met because during my last visit this name wasn’t on his friends list. (I play for hours while he’s gone, so I would know.) I mentioned it to my partner, and he said “No, she was on there the last time you were here. She added me on Instagram years ago and right before we met she added me on PS4 and we haven’t played.” And I just said, okay and moved on. Very casual chats and brushed past quick.
Until a few days later I got on to play, and she invited me (my BF’s account) via message so when I opened the message invite it pulled up their messages where they had been playing just last month.
Now, I thought for sure maybe he was confused or something. Didn’t remember having played with her and that’s why he said they had never played. So I showed him and said, your friend keeps inviting you. And he just said “okay, yes I am sorry we had been playing last month and I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to be upset.”
Which really sucked, because that meant instead of it being a memory thing.. he lied to me, knowingly, about interactions with another girl. It’s not the gaming that’s the problem. It’s the lying.
For extra context: we both have expressed a boundary for us not to be meeting other people online. That is how we started. He was the one to address this boundary and establish it first.
He offered to delete this girl, and even said that he wanted to delete her on Instagram. I told him he can do whatever he wants. But out of morbid curiosity, I asked if they had been talking on text or anything and he said they had been talking on Instagram but only a few months ago and briefly like “hi my name is ____ and I work here and do this and that”. But when I asked him if he would mind me reading the DM’s he said that he deleted them, because he deleted all DM’s from people he doesn’t really know.
Is this something I should consider ending the relationship over? Am I overreacting?
TL;DR partner lied about playing with someone on his console, because he said he thought I would be upset. Now I am upset he lied.m
Submitted July 26, 2021 at 01:52AM by emlane76 https://ift.tt/3rAIuEY
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