He wants me to make financial decisions with "us" in mind, but I just want to be independent. I'm 19.

I'm moving in with my boyfriend of almost 2 years this weekend. I was having a talk with my parents about credit, and buying my own car, and found out I can probably get one next year if I work hard and stay on track as much as I can. So, I'm excited. I've always relied on other people for rides and the thought of being able to have something that's mine that I can use sounds awesome.

I was on the phone with him tonight and mentioned I could get a car, and he told me it wasn't a good idea. He said that I can just use his to get to work and he can bike for school, and when I mentioned that won't work in the winter because he could get frostbite or at the very least have trouble riding, he pushed back. He said getting involved with credit is a bad idea, and he wants me to wait so he and I can pick out a car together and do finances about it together. He told me that he was thinking about what car payments would do to "us" long term, even though I said I was going to pay for it on my own.

I didn't ask for his advice. I would've been okay with him asking about considering something for the both of us, but I said I was excited to have this for myself and his instinct was to think about "us." It's cute and all that he's thinking years down the line, but I want my first car to be mine. I'm not going to defer to someone else or compromise on my own finances when I'm working hard for that money unless I'm married. I didn't say that in the moment because I thought it might be too harsh, but is it bad that I'm so irritated he said that? It's not that I don't want to do whats good for us, but my first priority I think should be me.

How can I communicate this to him without making it sound like I'm not committed or that I'm trying to be rude? Any advice would be appreciated.

TLDR: BF and I are both young but I want to make financial decisions on my own. He wants it done together for the long term, but I don't think I should have to compromise until I'm married. Advice?

Submitted July 27, 2021 at 09:12PM by Lost_Manner8942 https://ift.tt/2Ww2lK3