I’ve been married for several years to a guy I love very much. We also have a young child. My husband has many great qualities - he is extremely intelligent, highly capable (can figure out/fix anything), handsome, generous, and so much more. He also struggles with untreated depression and possible PTSD (he does not want to pursue therapy or take any medication) and sometimes says unkind things. He has a very physically-demanding job that is not currently very lucrative, and although he has been looking for different work for quite some time, he hasn’t found anything better yet. Meanwhile I have a white-collar desk job that pays pretty well (enough to comfortably if not extravagantly support our family).
Lately we have not been in the best place. He tells me often that our lives are fundamentally different. He compares our jobs and tells me he doesn’t understand why I get paid so much to sit at a computer all day, and if I mention that I am stressed about work, he dismisses it and brings up his own job. He has told me flat out, at various points, that he doesn’t feel like I am good at things and that he doesn’t like me. Although he is a dedicated father and our child adores him, he does not enjoy parenting and has told me he feels like having a kid was a huge mistake. He also mentioned recently that his idea of an ideal vacation would be traveling alone.
I’m at a loss here. I don’t want a divorce, but I’m taking these comments to heart and starting to wonder whether I am actually not capable/easy to be around, or if he is just in a terrible headspace and taking it out on me. I’m not sure what the next steps should be. Obviously we’ve had some discussions, but I don’t think much progress has been made.
tl;dr: husband (who is not an asshole overall) does not seem to like/respect me. Wondering where to go from here.
Submitted July 24, 2021 at 08:59PM by dropping_eaves https://ift.tt/3kTNIKM
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